In February of 1997, after 26 years on the East Coast, I drove 3000 miles across the U.S., covering eleven states in nine days. With all my earthly possessions shoveled clumsily into the back of a 17-foot U-Haul truck, I struggled mightily to traverse America–and experience it at the same time.

I stopped in several locales and took extended bike rides, and detoured several places in the truck. I stayed in incredibly seedy motels. I ate previously unimagined quantites of Taco Bell products. In an information age twist on the traditional travelogue, I sent out nightly email dispatches from my laptop, detailing my myriad adventures for the reading pleasure of a select unfortunate group of friends and family.

Read on–and you can pretend that you were there pretending to be there: