Dispatch from the Razor's Edge

Independence Day

Thu, 04 Jul 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Going through the process of radically thinning out the contents of the ole domocile, you start to realize the magnitude of all the things you keep simply because you have them.

Here Here, Herr Hair - Nice Hair!

Sat, 06 Jul 2002 05:00:00 +0000

In the Whole Foods produce section, I happened to see a strapping guy with a smoking brush cut. Intrepidly approaching him, I asked,

Finding My Own Road

Tue, 09 Jul 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Tried out my new MP3 player today. I can't really recommend this device - a Treo 10 with somewhat limited (and frequently perverse) functionality

My Lucky Day

Thu, 11 Jul 2002 05:00:00 +0000

So today was bookmarked as the Day of Irrevocable Actions. (Not a bad numerical date for it at all - as my (quarter-)Irish mum might point out.)

All About the Gear

Sat, 13 Jul 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Saturday, and it's REI run time. Yeah, boeeyyy . . . Picked up: Microfiber Pack Towel: 25"x54" - but folds up to the size of a small paperback and weighs in at 8oz. Ultra-absorbant, and mega-fast drying.

Four Things

Sun, 14 Jul 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Sunday evening, and swinging by Walgreens I picked up: * A new, black, 200-page, 5.5x3.5 Mead "Fat 'Lil Notebook." * Another $3.99 chrono sports watch, with alarm! Yeah! These are two of the top pieces of gear that got me through Europe last year.

Meta-Hypertext

Wed, 17 Jul 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Spent a bit of time working on the site infrastructure, recently. While it's not quite precisely a full-blown content management system, it will take a lot of the burden off of me as I publish on the go

Architecture

Sat, 20 Jul 2002 05:00:00 +0000

I just finished reading an entirely decent book on architecture. Frankly, I had begun to feel a little ridiculous travelling all the way around the world to see these great buildings, and then standing there pointing and muttering, "Look - I think it's Revival something or other . . ."

THE SCOOP

Mon, 22 Jul 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Oh, Yeah, and What Exactly Am I Doing Anyway? (aka THE SCOOP): I'm closing out my apartment, putting all my stuff in storage, bidding the Bay Area adieu, and flying Back East

It Is Done

Sat, 27 Jul 2002 05:00:00 +0000

By popular demand (well, okay, Dana's demand): Behold! The shorn head!

Reader Mail, pt 1 - The Horror

Thu, 01 Aug 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Michael, Welcome to the world of the properly-shorn, ya hippie bitch! "Razor's Edge" is *obviously* a reference to your deeply-seated homoerotic bald-head attraction. :)

More Horror; Much More

Wed, 07 Aug 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Today, of my own free will - and, in fact, at not inconsiderable personal expense - I went out and had myself injected with Yellow Fever, Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, and Typhus. How's that for a dreamy Wednesday morning?

We Have Ignition

Thu, 15 Aug 2002 05:00:00 +0000

This could lead to excellence / Or serious injury / Only one way to know / Go, go, go

Reader Mail pt 2 - The Joy

Tue, 20 Aug 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Michael, After some serious consideration, I don't think I could pass up the opportunity both to tour Africa and to have a real adventure with a true friend.

I'm A Happy Guy

Mon, 26 Aug 2002 05:00:00 +0000

I am slouching shallowly at the edge of a neighborhood (read: "subdivision") pool, out in suburban Atlanta. Two female seven-year-old persons, who are taking turns jumping into the pool from the top of the lifeguard's chair, are charged with taking care of me for the afternoon.

2001.09.11

Wed, 11 Sep 2002 05:00:00 +0000

I am watching the reading of the names of 9/11 victims at Ground Zero, on television. (I'm in a place with a television, which today I'm grateful for.) As the names rolled by, as did the images of the loved ones down in the footprints of the missing buildings laying flowers, I was deeply struck by what all these people looked like

I'm A Happy Guy

Sun, 15 Sep 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Abbe, and her fiance Evan, and I, are padding around in a small, dark room of the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts. In this one small room are five, count 'em, of the world's starkly limited supply of Faberge eggs.

Random Smack!

Wed, 18 Sep 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Dateline: Spartanburg-ish, South Carolina, "Quality Hotel" [sic] FACTOID: The state of North Carolina built its Vietnam War Veterans Memorial as part of one of its Interstate Highway 85 South rest stops.

Daftness With The New DigiCam

Sat, 21 Sep 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Little Expressionless Animals

Wed, 02 Oct 2002 05:00:00 +0000

(splashy, splashy, splashy) Michael: OH MY GOD! Michael: Do you happen to have, like, a number for neighborhood pool maintenance? Alex: Hmm, you'll have to ask Jennifer. Something wrong? M: . . . There's a freaking CREATURE in the pool.

A Whole New Bunny

Thu, 03 Oct 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Reader response to the Bunny Episode was lively and varied. Thanks equally to those who ooh'd and ahh'd at the high cuteness involved; gently indicted me for being such a nancy about the whole thing; provided a bit of genuine empathy regarding my initial shock and horror

Sibling Revelry

Thu, 24 Oct 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Sara landed in Quito three nights ago. All four of us, my three adult sisters and I, seemingly following some genetically hard-wired agitation timer, have simultaneously thrown ourselves into massive transition.

Reader Mail, pt. 3 - The Magic

Sat, 26 Oct 2002 05:00:00 +0000

Michael - I'm sorry I haven't replied before - I've been away on 2 holidays no less! One to North Wales and one to the South of France - Nice to be precise - and both were lovely in very different ways. I'm about to embark on a third before the month is out, to ... wait for it... Amsterdam.

Jungle Boogie

Mon, 28 Oct 2002 06:00:00 +0000

This is it. I've got my last, my very last bit of gear - down to a collapsing travel toothbrush. In the spirit of my first big trip, here it all is (well, except for a few missing items, like the camera for instance).

Amsterdam Redux

Wed, 30 Oct 2002 06:00:00 +0000

The bad news was that I was flying NorthWorst and my first flight (out of Atlanta) was late getting in, late getting out - and when it finally took wing, after sitting on the tarmac for haunted ages, it had become mathematically impossible for me to make my connection in Detroit. (Which connection would be the overnight flight to Amsterdam - where I was being met by two very important (to me) people in public places at very specific times.)

High Above the Rainbow City

Thu, 31 Oct 2002 06:00:00 +0000

1997.11.01

Fri, 01 Nov 2002 06:00:00 +0000

Special Dispatch Commemoration: On this day five years ago I set foot off my homeland - landing in Toronto, Ontario, Canada - for the first time ever. Was November 1, 1997 the best night of my life?

"We're Out of Here!"

Sat, 02 Nov 2002 06:00:00 +0000

Well, this is it. I met an American woman at the bar yesterday morning, while writing and drinking tea, who just got back from Nomad's Cape Town -> Victoria Falls tour (ie the first half of ours). Okay, for one thing, her left arm was in a cast. For another, she advised against the optional elephant-back safari.

Putting the "Adventure" in Nomad Adventure Tours

Mon, 04 Nov 2002 06:00:00 +0000

I'm sitting in the shade of a bungalow just above the banks of the Orange River, in Namibia. I've just survived being swept down a fair portion of said river, in the process of which misadventure I nearly lost both a fiberglass canoe, and a very nice German gal named Astrid.

Flaps Down

Thu, 07 Nov 2002 06:00:00 +0000

Well, I've really gotten completely over this Cool Guy Hat Flaps Up pretension, let me tell you. The African sun - as advertised - is a brutal, insidious, and insistent beast.

The Namib

Fri, 08 Nov 2002 06:00:00 +0000

"But mad dogs and Englishmen / Go out in the noonday sun." - Noel Coward ... Astute readers will recall that the above quote has been previously used on Dispatch from the Razor's Edge. However, it turns out that it really, really bears repeating - the moment one sets foot in the Namib Desert.

Spitzkoppe: My Idea of Fun

Tue, 12 Nov 2002 06:00:00 +0000

When we did roll on into the camp site - nestled between two tremendous, towering piles of rocks (with others nearby) - jaws were on the ground; and there seemed to be a general consensus that this was the best setting for a camp site anyone's ever seen.

Etosha

Thu, 14 Nov 2002 06:00:00 +0000

We arrived in Etosha Park earlier than expected on Tuesday afternoon, allowing us the opportunity of a 70km game drive straight off, basically just to get to our camp site. Etosha is widely regarded as one of the world's greatest wildlife-viewing parks

The African Queen

Sat, 16 Nov 2002 06:00:00 +0000

She came out of the sun, as we motored our way out of Etosha. Mark and I were fast asleep, and roused by Jo's piercing cry: "Lion, lion!"

Okavango Delta I

Tue, 19 Nov 2002 06:00:00 +0000

Our last night in the world, Paul sat us down before dinner, and gave us the scoop about the Delta: how to avoid becoming meat for any of the local Delta denizens.

Okavango Delta ][

Wed, 20 Nov 2002 06:00:00 +0000

We woke with the dawn - to beat the heat, and ideally to meet the animals, who were also beating the heat. We quickly spotted more red litchri, splashed with steeply slanting sunlight, as well as a lonely elephant in the (far) distance.

Chobe

Thu, 21 Nov 2002 06:00:00 +0000

Betwixt the Delta and Chobe, we paused for a brief respite at something called Planet Baobob - a camp site situated amidst 3,500-year old baobob trees.

Fulcrum City

Sun, 24 Nov 2002 06:00:00 +0000

What can be said of Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe? How about, "Get the *&%$ back right now, you massed, marauding swarms of human stinging flies!" for starters?

The "Mighty" Zambezi

Tue, 26 Nov 2002 06:00:00 +0000

We moved to a rougher camp site (a bit too rough, in my view), on the banks of the Zambezi River. Mark: I just saw a mamba. Me: Is it dangerous? Mark: Heh heh, ha ha. I wouldn't say it's dangerous. I mean, if it bites you, you're dead. But it's a pretty happy, peaceful snake . . . Though, again, if it bites you, you're dead.

Hippos On My D, 1 2 3

Thu, 28 Nov 2002 06:00:00 +0000

I suppose that the trouble really started in Cape Town - the truck trouble, that is. I'm much more amazed than angry that Nomad doesn't maintain their trucks - given that their business pretty much is their trucks, and they (not to mention their customers) are going nowhere fast without them.

The Sea

Tue, 03 Dec 2002 06:00:00 +0000

Lake Malawi is the 3rd largest in Africa (behind Tanganyika (Burton's discovery) and Victoria), and the 9th largest in the world. It is 580km long, and believed to be 750m at its deepest point. Moreover, due to it's waves, winds, tides, and unpredictable weather, it is officially classified as "the sea."

Led Toward Heaven; Driven Through Hell

Fri, 06 Dec 2002 06:00:00 +0000

Right, then - so one more beach camp site on the shores of Lake Malawi. And although this one would be indistinguishable from Kande Beach to, say, Martians, it sure was a whole new kettle of worms for us.

Meet the Zanzibarans

Tue, 10 Dec 2002 06:00:00 +0000

If Africa is the continent the world left behind, but can't stop thinking about, then Zanzibar is the Arab world's Africa. Across oceans of time (as well as the Indian Ocean), the Sumerians, Assyrians, Egyptians, Phonecians, Indians, Chinese, Persians, Portuguese, Dutch, and English have all dropped in here.

Get Jiggy With The Zanzibarans

Thu, 12 Dec 2002 06:00:00 +0000

I emerge from my "life enjoyment break" in African Gelato Heaven into the lightest, gentlest sprinkle, which has floated in on the offshore breeze. Looping hotelward, but wide, I find myself in the proper, local (non-tourist) market - filled with stalls, vendors, shops, honking vehicles, and thousands of faces (all of which but mine are non-white).

Intermissionary Position

Fri, 13 Dec 2002 06:00:00 +0000

Serengeti, and Ngorongoro Crater, that's what reason we have for leaving. In Tanzania, the town of Arusha is the gateway to these places, and that's where we're heading today. But first a few last orders of business in town.

The Endless Plain

Sun, 15 Dec 2002 06:00:00 +0000

That's what "Serengeti" means, in Swahili. (So "Serengeti Plain" - like "tse tse fly" - is redundant.) Serengeti National Park is Tanzania's - and almost certainly the world's - most famous wildlife preserve.

Serengeti Morning

Mon, 16 Dec 2002 06:00:00 +0000

Morning on the Endless Plain. We crept along in the sharply slanting light and windy, slightly chirpy quiet - five fleshy periscopes extended through the roof panels, and not another vehicle or human in sight

The Lost Kingdom

Tue, 17 Dec 2002 06:00:00 +0000

Dawn on the Crater Rim - and major themes seemed to be brutal cold, and sophomoric humor

Snows on Kilimanjaro

Wed, 18 Dec 2002 06:00:00 +0000

So I actually spent a lot of time worrying about, and trying to figure out how to avoid, dying in that Land Cruiser we took to Serengeti.

"Home, Snively."

Fri, 20 Dec 2002 06:00:00 +0000

The hop from Amboseli to Nairobi was painless, and our quick drive-by of downtown Nairobi tended to underscore why we weren't being dropped off in the city proper. Lamentably, these days, Nairobi is literally one of the most dangerous and crime-ridden cities on the planet.

WSIDWML?

Mon, 07 Apr 2003 05:00:00 +0000

How many times do you really face a choice in life? How many times will you get the benefit of arriving at a crossroads, where you don't have to fight the tug of rolling inertia, and your choice isn't going to hurt someone you love?

Scranton, PA

Mon, 05 May 2003 05:00:00 +0000

Underground

Mon, 19 May 2003 05:00:00 +0000

Nan's Basement

Sun, 25 May 2003 05:00:00 +0000

Nan's Basement, 2003 - (mixed digital media)

My Own Garden

Fri, 13 Jun 2003 05:00:00 +0000

I planted a garden - my first (without close supervision). Tomatoes. Turning soil is, of course, good for the soul.

Get Me Possibility!

Thu, 10 Jul 2003 05:00:00 +0000

Ah! and when the hour-glass has run out, the hour-glass of temporality, when the worldly tumult is silenced and the restless or unavailing urgency comes to an end

Of Some Importance in its Way

Sun, 13 Jul 2003 05:00:00 +0000

Anyone moderately familiar with the rigours of composition will not need to be told the story in detail: how he wrote and it seemed good; read and it seemed vile; corrected and tore up; cut out; put in; was in ecstasy; in despair

Row the Boats

Wed, 03 Sep 2003 05:00:00 +0000

Patriot Day

Thu, 11 Sep 2003 05:00:00 +0000

"Whatever the duration of this struggle, and whatever the difficulties, we will not permit the triumph of violence in the affairs of men - free people will set the course of history.

Summer Night

Sun, 14 Sep 2003 05:00:00 +0000

Summer Night, The All-American City, 2003 - Michael Stephen Fuchs - (digital fiddling with digital photos)

Young Woman with Pen in Hair

Sat, 25 Oct 2003 05:00:00 +0000

Young Woman with Pen in Hair (Piccadilly Line) - michael stephen fuchs, 2003

After the Morning Rain

Sun, 02 Nov 2003 06:00:00 +0000

London, Earl's Court, Sunday, after the morning autumn rain.

Landmark Events in the Life of a New Londoner

Tue, 04 Nov 2003 06:00:00 +0000

Buy an A to Z. Buy your first copy of Time Out. First proper curry.

A Pictorial History of - What's, Let's Face It, Is A Somewhat Arbitrary Selection of Moments From - My First Two Months in London

Tue, 18 Nov 2003 06:00:00 +0000

Since I became, on 18 September 2003, a legal resident of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Island, London has hardly left me two free minutes to rub together - much less to properly dispatch.

The Special Relationship

Thu, 20 Nov 2003 06:00:00 +0000

"The British people are the sort of partners you want when serious work needs doing. The men and women of this kingdom are kind and steadfast and generous and brave, and America is fortunate to call this country our closest friend in the world." - George W. Bush, yesterday's Whitehall address

Reflection (After the Rain)

Sat, 22 Nov 2003 06:00:00 +0000

Reflection (After the Rain) - michael stephen fuchs, 2003

Skip This Dispatch

Sun, 30 Nov 2003 06:00:00 +0000

Did I mention my resolution to read only English novelists while I'm here? Luckily, England's produced one or two decent ones. ;^) I actually broke down once, which event I memorialized in this poem:

The Dispatch That Does Not End

Tue, 09 Dec 2003 06:00:00 +0000

Heart is so full, and evening is mostly clear, and so I head out toward Chelsea, laptop on back - preparing to "kick it old school". That is to say, I'm going to find a congenial pub, treat myself to a pint (and possibly a half), and dispatch with great abandon.

The Camera Eye

Sun, 14 Dec 2003 06:00:00 +0000

If you got through the last couple of prolix dispatches, you definitely deserve some purty pictures. Luckily, I've been continuing to develop my relationship with London in no small measure through my electronic viewfinder.

Annual Safe Driving Harangue

Tue, 23 Dec 2003 06:00:00 +0000

I've given offense in the past by seeming to suggest that the people in my life don't know how to drive, or need my driving advice. I'm so sorry for that, which isn't what I mean at all.

Brightening Up London / Remembrance Day

Wed, 24 Dec 2003 06:00:00 +0000

So, Sir Bob Geldof, presumably running short of things to do, decided that London at the end of the year was a slightly too drab place for his taste and he got the idea of colourfully gift-wrapping a number of London's greatest buildings. And how could that be wrong?

One Louis MacNeice Poem, Two Passages from Jeanette Winterson, and Eleven Melancholy Pictures

Sun, 11 Jan 2004 06:00:00 +0000

The sunlight on the garden / Hardens and grows cold, / We cannot cage the minute / Within its nets of gold,

The London Sky

Sun, 25 Jan 2004 06:00:00 +0000

"All the forces which have produced the London sky have made something which all Londoners know, and which no one who has never seen London has ever seen." - G.K. Chesterton

Michael Fine

Thu, 11 Mar 2004 06:00:00 +0000

Long story short: I'm in Spain, but totally fine. I'm actually not anywhere near Madrid (though, since I neglected to send out my itinerary before I left, no one knows this), but rather in Barcelona. Heck, I didn't even know the extent of the carnage until 10 minutes ago when I stepped into this net cafe and got the NY Times.

Ground Zero Espana

Sun, 14 Mar 2004 06:00:00 +0000

Madrid is draped with flags - Spanish flags, with big black ribbons over their hearts. The workaday flags are all at half-mast, including in the 17-century Plaza Mayor, all be-frescoed and sad. And at the art nouveau building that fronts the Grand Via, there is a 4-story black ribbon.

Sunlight on the Garden

Tue, 16 Mar 2004 06:00:00 +0000

The opening poem (one of my all-time faves) couldn't be more apt. It went through my head so many times as Josh and I traveled through Spain. The third verse haunted me as we climbed up into the sky, amid the awesome construction of Barcelona's Sagrada Familia.

Morocco Photos Part Un

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 06:00:00 +0000

Fuchs Dispatch: now with Skeet Shooting! That is to say, I did the first part of the Morocco trip in the company of another snap-happy digital photographer - namely, one Josh Schroeder (nee Skeet). The main result for the dispatch is that you get a lot more pictures of me, which of course is great news if, like me, you really like looking at pictures of me.

Morocco Photos, Part Deux

Wed, 31 Mar 2004 06:00:00 +0000

The Hassan II Mosque in Casablanca is the world's second largest mosque - or religious monument of any kind - outside of the one in Mecca. Its minaret, at 210 meters, is the tallest in the world and is visible for miles - not least when it shines lasers toward Mecca at night.

Sunlight on the Garden

Mon, 12 Apr 2004 05:00:00 +0000

"My world back after a year, my lost lost world / Like a cropping deer strayed near my path again, /Bewaring the mind's least clutch, turning, I kissed her

Pat Tillman

Thu, 22 Apr 2004 05:00:00 +0000

Maybe he was thinking Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country... All we know is that 25-year-old Pat Tillman, a rising pro football player came back from his honeymoon seven weeks ago and told his coaches he would turn down a three-year, $3.6 million contract and instead join the U.S. Army.

New Flat

Fri, 23 Apr 2004 05:00:00 +0000

Some of you recently received an exuberant, triumphal e-mail to the effect that I finally got a proper flat. Here it is with photos:

The Fires of Spring

Sat, 01 May 2004 05:00:00 +0000

So perhaps good humour, good fortune, and general freedom from care have begun to wear you down, get a bit oppressive. If so, I'm pleased to be able to offer the following prescription for immediate and radical mood delevation

City of Gardens

Mon, 24 May 2004 05:00:00 +0000

Ali took me to Brighton on Friday, which is on the south coast 40 minutes by train from London, and widely regarded as Britain's San Francisco - much smaller, but with waterfront, pastel-painted row houses on hills, cool breezes and sunshine, a thriving gay community and a welcoming vibe.

The Dispatcher Begs a Boon

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 05:00:00 +0000

Would someone please let me in on the secret to happiness? And the Answers are . . . :

Some Portraits

Thu, 24 Jun 2004 05:00:00 +0000

Dusk and a Swan

Sun, 27 Jun 2004 05:00:00 +0000

"Like the falling leaves and the shifting past / Sometimes the treasured things / Are not the things that last"

Independence Day

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 05:00:00 +0000

Happy 228th birthday, United States of America (from an American abroad). As previously noted, America - the only nation-state ever founded on the basis of a philosophy - is not a place nor a people, but a set of principles and ideals.

Humanity on its Raft

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 05:00:00 +0000

Humanity on its raft. The raft on the endless ocean. From his present dissatisfaction man reasons that there was some catastrophic wreck in the past, before which he was happy; some golden age, some Garden of Eden.

The London Sky, Pt. 2

Mon, 30 Aug 2004 05:00:00 +0000

"They look down at the ground, missing. / But I never go in now - / I'm looking at the Big Sky, / I'm looking at the Big Sky now" - Kate Bush

Pictures of Things I Have Seen

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 05:00:00 +0000

"For the entire earth is but a point, and the place of our own habitation but a minute corner in it; and how many are therein who will praise you, and what sort of men are they?" - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Have We Made Things Too Hard?

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 05:00:00 +0000

Specifically, what I mean to ponder is: Has all our scientific and technological progress - in particular, the foundation-rocking understanding of the universe and ourselves that's been granted us by cosmology, astrophysics, geology, evolutionary biology, evolutionary psychology, cognitive neuroscience, etc. - has all of that grand accumulated wisdom left us without a psychic pot to piss in?

London Rain

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 05:00:00 +0000

Evening in SW London. Dim. It's raining! I go to the ceiling-scraping window that opens onto the inner courtyard. "Super-fantastic," I say aloud. I love the London rain.

Man on the Spot

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 05:00:00 +0000

Late afternoon, gorgeous and autumny out, so I dart out of the office to go stand in Trafalgar Square in the rusty last sunlight.

Veterans Day / Remembrance Day

Thu, 11 Nov 2004 06:00:00 +0000

Today is Veterans Day in the U.S. - and Remembrance Day in the UK. At the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, the entire country stops, sits in two minutes of total silence, and remembers the men and women who died on their behalf.

Bad Ass in Chief

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 06:00:00 +0000

From the New York Times: On Saturday night, attending a dinner with leaders from the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit, Mr. Bush had to wade into a group of security agents to pull his lead Secret Service agent out of a shoving match with the Chilean police.

Self Portrait (Atocha)

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 06:00:00 +0000

Self Portrait (Atocha), 2004 - (mixed digital media)

To Begin the World Over Again

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 06:00:00 +0000

The cause of America is in a great measure the cause of all mankind.

Super Foods!

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 06:00:00 +0000

The World Cancer Research Fund has just published their list of the 20 best foods to prevent cancer.

Suffering and Light

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 06:00:00 +0000

If the immediate and direct purpose of our life is not suffering then our existence is the most ill-adapted to its purpose in the world.

No Sex, Please, We're British

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 06:00:00 +0000

According to the UK charity RoadPeace, ten people die on the roads in Britain every day. (I was glad to find these guys because it makes me feel less alone and insane for worrying about this stuff.)

Shiva

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 06:00:00 +0000

Shiva, 2004 - (mixed digital media)

A Melancholy Blue

Tue, 04 Jan 2005 06:00:00 +0000

I left the office shortly after 6pm - an hour after the last civil servant had melted away - and walked the streets of Soho. I headed north then west, bouncing pinball-like through the brilliant rectangle of Soho

The Next Caper

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 06:00:00 +0000

Mark, Would you care to walk across England with me in the last two weeks of March?

Three Strikes

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 06:00:00 +0000

So, I've had a heck of a 12 hours. First I fell out of bed - it was inevitable, my bed is 8 feet off the ground, in a little loft.

Scraps of Useless Information

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 06:00:00 +0000

Truly ideal weekend: Friday evening I met up with my mates, as per always on Friday evenings, though this time out in the provinces (Egham). But it was well worth the trip. We laughed an awful lot.

Think About Recycling

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 06:00:00 +0000

Michael Crichton can discourse on global climate change - all kinds of people do - but you might want to consider leavening your reading of him with some scientists, or science writers, who also discourse on the subject.

"Imposing American-Style Democracy at the Barrel of a Gun" (and Oh Yeah, it's All About Oil Anyway)

Sun, 30 Jan 2005 06:00:00 +0000

"We wanted to be the first to vote here. This is our country. We have to do it. There should be no excuse for anyone not to come. These elections will decide the destiny of the country." - Amir Mahmoud Jawad, 18, Iraqi high school student

"Iraq, Home of the Brave"

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 06:00:00 +0000

"Defying the suicide bombers and head-hackers, courageous Iraqis went to the polls in huge numbers. Before the vote, the naysayers told us that the indelible purple dye on each voter's finger would mark them out for punishment by 'insurgents'. Instead, it became a defiant symbol of the country's freedom.

What I'm Doing

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 06:00:00 +0000

"The effortful shepherding of one's confusion and faint nausea, which I assumed was the basic existential package, turns out to have been a temporary condition." - Martin Amis

Soon Earth Will Cover Us All

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 06:00:00 +0000

In the life of man, his time is but a moment, his being an incessant flux, his senses a dim rushlight, his body a prey of worms, his soul an unquiet eddy, his fortune dark, and his fame doubtful.

Darfur

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 06:00:00 +0000

We know what's going on. Nicholas Kristof details it in in today's New York Times. It's easy to speak up. In U.S., e-mail your Senators and Congressperson. In U.K., fax your MP.

The Caper Expands (Into A Lark)

Thu, 24 Feb 2005 06:00:00 +0000

well. presuming that mark also assents, and presuming that the two of you are not afraid for your virtue, traveling with a Member Of The Opposite Sex - i'm in. d

The Baghdad Wall Is Down

Wed, 02 Mar 2005 06:00:00 +0000

"It's strange for me to say it, but this process of change has started because of the American invasion of Iraq. I was cynical about Iraq. But when I saw the Iraqi people voting three weeks ago, 8 million of them, it was the start of a new Arab world. . . .

Considering Myself a Londoner

Wed, 16 Mar 2005 06:00:00 +0000

What I love about London: I love walking a single block and hearing 5 languages and 12 accents. I love that feeling of dread that I'm irretrievably missing out on the raging river of cultural opportunities that's constantly racing by.

Lightning Crashes

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 05:00:00 +0000

My first novel, THE MANUSCRIPT, was officially picked up today - by Macmillan, for a UK release in early 2006.

The Glittering Isle

Mon, 25 Apr 2005 05:00:00 +0000

"You can't blame people for deciding not to live here, but you do have wonder about people who have never at least wanted to live here. Here you will have the worst and best days of your life, and your response to both will be the same: Only in New York."

Day 0

Wed, 11 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

And but so I got this idea in my head. Coming back from the holidays in Atlanta, I realised that I needed something. You need something. You know? I'd read a sidebar in the Guardian mentioning the Coast to Coast path. And I thought - Hey! I like to walk!

Day 1

Thu, 12 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

Awoke in St. Bees to sunshine and breeze and calling seabirds - a very propitious morning indeed.

Day 2 - The Best Day Yet

Fri, 13 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

So did I forget to mention the American? (Aka the Quiet American, aka the Ugly American.) We first met this august gentleman at the station in Carlisle, where our rail connection to St. Bees was cancelled and replaced by a bus service.

Day 3 - Borrowdale to Grasmere

Sat, 14 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

So the Retained Technical Consultant on our Coast to Coast Walk was one Josh Schroeder - extremely experienced hiker/camper, Eagle Scout, and all around prince of a guy.

Day 4 - Breaking Through

Sun, 15 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

So, our acute food problem so far had largely consisted of three parts: 1) breaking camp and leaving town before anything opened; 2) getting into the next town after everything had closed; and 3) not packing nearly enough trail food to get us from one to the other.

Day 5 - Dicing With Death

Mon, 16 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

As well, we couldn't afford to get lost up here. Miles from any town, isolated up in the peaks, hemmed in by weather . . . we could end up doing circles, or heading off in some wrong direction, until we succumbed to the weather and exhaustion.

Day 6 - The Lovely Slog

Tue, 17 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

"Those who struggled to complete the previous stage will be less than delighted to hear that today's hike is, at 21 miles, even longer. Indeed, for many it will be the longest day on the entire route."

Day 7 - Chickens Rule the Planet

Wed, 18 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

It appears that on this walk if it's not one goddamned thing, it's another: if you manage to avoid getting blown off the cliff-edge of a fell, you've only survived to later get swallowed whole by a bog. Well, never a dull moment.

Day 8 - Going the Extra Miles

Thu, 19 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

Darby: Screw you guys - I'm goin' to the B&B. Us: But- Darby: Eh! Screw you guys - B&B.

Day 9 - Fields of Gold

Fri, 20 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

Morning finds Applegarth Camping Barn - and our heroes snug in bed: Mark: I can't tell if that's wind or rain. Me: It's not rain. Go back to sleep. Mark: That's definitely rain. Me: No, you're dreaming . . . I had the most awful vivid dream last night. Mark: Were you trapped three quarters of the way across England with two freaks? Me: That's no dream, that's your reality.

Day 10 - My Little Pony

Sat, 21 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

Mark: Wow, that's the first time the sun has driven us from our tent . . . It was true, we emerged to a gloriously sunny day in the back yard of the White Swan. This called for shorts.

Day 11 - The Gratuitous Ones

Sun, 22 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

And so morning arrived at the gloriously well-appointed camp site that was somehow wildly inferior to all the pub back yards we'd camped in. Note to self, I thought: Four pints is one pint too many.

Day 12 - 10 Miles Before Breakfast

Mon, 23 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

Early morning in the Schesse-frei pub backyard. The very first light of day glances off of the still and quiet (and glisteningly wet) tents. Mark: I suppose there's nothing for it but to get moving. Me: But we don't have to do it now. Mark: I wonder if we could for once manage not to be excruciatingly early or absurdly late for breakfast . . . Darby Danger, we're up!

Day 13 - Moors the Worse For Us

Tue, 24 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

"For many, particularly those who enjoy cosy English villages hidden amongst the finest, gentlest, most bucolic scenery this country has to offer, the 13.5-mile stroll down the Esk Valley from Glaisdale to Grosmont is simply the best section of the walk . . . But first you have to get to the valley, and that means getting down off the moors . . . parts of this short-cut are extremely boggy - up to waist-deep, in my experience - and unless you want to end up like the dead sheep that occasionally litter this part of the moor it's probably safer to stick to the roads."

Day 14 - The End of the Tour

Wed, 25 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

So, nothing like the best single night's sleep ever (as mentioned yesterday), before the last day of the longest walk of your life. We awoke in the clean, pretty, quiet, sunny room together, and rolled over and stretched and yawned languorously and finally roused ourselves to go downstairs for, oh yes, another ass-kicking breakfast.

Day N+1 - Home, Snively

Thu, 26 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

Morning in Robin Hood's Bay. I stretched, yawned, and looked out the window beside my bed. Then I yawned and stretched again.

The Loose End

Mon, 30 May 2005 05:00:00 +0000

Yesterday I woke up and it was all over and everyone was gone.

The Blitz

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 05:00:00 +0000

I'm totally fine. I'm sick of sending these sodding "I'm fine" messages from the scenes of atrocities, I can tell you that. But, otherwise, I'm fine.

28 Hours Later

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 05:00:00 +0000

And but so walking home through central London last night, I had figured I would be looking at at a total 28 Days Later scenario - walking through the eerily deserted streets of the city, my footsteps echoing off of the centuries-old stone.

The Spotless Storyteller

Sat, 16 Jul 2005 05:00:00 +0000

Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon. Joel: I know. Clementine: What do we do? Joel: Enjoy it.

Even Bigger Tossers

Thu, 21 Jul 2005 05:00:00 +0000

In the days following the attacks two weeks ago, the natural resilience, sang-froid, and stoicism - not to mention sarcasm and dismissiveness - of Londoners seemed to coalesce into a more or less unified reaction to the bombers: "Sod off, you tossers."

Administrivia / Armed Police

Fri, 22 Jul 2005 05:00:00 +0000

Due to popular demand (well, the two people who made these demands are popular with me), I've implemented a few improvements to the dispatch commenting system:

The Battle Is Joined

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 05:00:00 +0000

"The men of Normandy had faith that what they were doing was right, faith that they fought for all humanity . . . It was the deep knowledge - and pray God we have not lost it - that there is a profound moral difference between the use of force for liberation and the use of force for conquest."

RIP Percy

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 05:00:00 +0000

"From too much love of living, / From hope and fear set free, / We thank with brief thanksgiving / Whatever gods may be / That no life lives for ever; / That dead men rise up never; / That even the weariest river / Winds somewhere safe to sea."

Page Proofs!

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 05:00:00 +0000

And so week before last, I got typeset page proofs of the book sent over from Macmillan.

The View from 'Marchers'

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 05:00:00 +0000

"'Just the place to bury a crock of gold,' said Sebastian. 'I should like to bury something precious in every place where I've been happy and then, when I was old and ugly and miserable, I could come back and dig it up and remember.'"

2001.09.11

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 05:00:00 +0000

"All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honour, duty, mercy, hope."

2003.09.18

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 05:00:00 +0000

So, exactly two years ago, I was thirty-three-thousand feet over the Atlantic. Down in the hold, I had one big trekking bag, filled with my terrifically pared-down earthly possessions. Incidentally, I used that same bag tonight to carry over 24 kilos of ice from the grocery store, so it's held up pretty well. [laughter]

You and I Behind the Veil are Past

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 05:00:00 +0000

I saw my first poppy today, while running around the edge of Trafalgar Square. I saw three poppies on my run. The first roasted chestnut vendors are also out, as of last week.

A (Birth)Day in the Life (In Pictures)

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 05:00:00 +0000

realised in a flash that I could conceivably take the narcissism, self-absorption, and exhibitionism that are so startlingly inherent in vanity web sites in general, and blogs in particular, to great new uncharted depths . . . a brave new nadir of self-promotion and life minutiae documentation. I realised I could photo- (and/or video-)document virtually every moment of an average day of my life.

Stand-Up Pinker

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 06:00:00 +0000

So anyone who knows me well knows that Steven Pinker is one of my intellectual heroes.

The SNAFU Has Landed

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 06:00:00 +0000

I rounded her up at Victoria, off the Gatwick Express, and brought her home - where she settled in with my DSL.

Bilbao

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 06:00:00 +0000

"But who is it that lingers there on the strand in the half-light, by the darkening sea that seems to arch its back like a beast as the night fast advances from the fogged horizon?"

Cold Lampin' With Flavor

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 06:00:00 +0000

I went and saw Public Enemy at the Forum last night. That might be 'nuff said.

Things I Learned at Macmillan

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 06:00:00 +0000

Here are some things I learned in my visit to Macmillan last night to discuss marketing plans for the book.

My Woodstock

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 06:00:00 +0000

"Denmark - a small democracy, which resisted Hitler bravely and protected its Jews as well as itself - a country with an open society, a system of confessional pluralism, and a free press, has been subjected to a fantastic, incredible, organized campaign of lies and hatred and violence - which has attacked its freedom, its trade, its citizens, and its embassies

The March - First Take

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 06:00:00 +0000

"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." - George Orwell

Launch Party!

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 05:00:00 +0000

And but so the night before the official launch of Macmillan New Writing (and, perforce, of THE MANUSCRIPT), Macmillan graciously and stylishly hosted a gala launch party at their smokin' King's Cross digs.

Reading!

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 05:00:00 +0000

And so also the night of the official launch of Macmillan New Writing (and, perforce, of THE MANUSCRIPT), Macmillan and the Pan Bookshop on the Fulham Road graciously hosted another launch party, and reading.

Liberation Day

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Happy Liberation Day to the brave and long-suffering Iraqi people. We stand with you.

Reading Redux!

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 05:00:00 +0000

And so at long last, a week after publication actually, we had our third and final launch party

What To Do Next (Again)

Mon, 15 May 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Why is it, actually, that May always seems to find me broken up and depressed and alone and melancholy? It's a striking pattern.

When All Else Fails Go Up To Kensington Gardens and Shoot Waterfowl in the Long Lazy Late Springtime Dusk

Mon, 29 May 2006 05:00:00 +0000

"'I know what's wrong with him now,' said the doctor. 'He had a dream and it's come true. What gives an ideal beauty is that it's unattainable. The gods laugh when men get what they want.'" - W. Somerset Maugham

Krav Maga:

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 05:00:00 +0000

So I've recently picked up a new activity: the martial art of Krav Maga. Simply translating as "close combat" in Hebrew, this form was developed specifically for, and is still taught by, the Israel Defense Forces. And this morning, I can tell you, I feel precisely as if a squad of Israeli commandoes has been beating me with lead menorahs - while I ran a half-marathon through the Negev. Jesus.

Bruxelles et Bruges

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 05:00:00 +0000

And so Alex had to be in Paris for a week, and happily managed to carve out another week on the backside for us to kick around somewhere. I talked him into Belgium.

2005.07.07

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 05:00:00 +0000

I am not yet born; O hear me, / Let not the man who is beast or who thinks he is God / Come near me.

Things I Did On The Anniversary Of 7/7

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Woke up, for some reason, at half-six; couldn't get back to sleep. Put on my black armband and wore it all day. (This is the one I keep for September 11th every year, and which it now appears will be getting use twice a year.)

Hero Shot

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Hero Shot - Laura Seay & Michael Stephen Fuchs, 2006

New Functionality!

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Dispatch from the Razor's Edge lives to serve! You ask, we respond. (Well, when we can scrape the time together. And when we can be bothered. Basically, when we get inspired.)

Operation Big Ben

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Oh, and by the bye - would you have any interest in taking a crack at Ben Nevis, perhaps in August?

All (Book) News Is Good News

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 05:00:00 +0000

A North American distribution deal for my novel THE MANUSCRIPT (published in April 2006 in the UK) has been finalised: the book will appear (in a trade paperback edition, with the current cover design) in the U.S. and Canada in January 2007.

My Manifesto

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 05:00:00 +0000

And so in a recent correspondence with my editor, I laid out in some detail the particulars of my literary mission as I conceive it - an amplification of the ideas I put forward some time ago on my words page.

Credit Where Credit Is Overdue

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 05:00:00 +0000

So in all my patting myself on the back for recent good news on the book front . . . I've egregiously neglected to pat on the back those who emphatically deserve it most: that is, YOU.

Random Photographic Smack

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 05:00:00 +0000

"'I have done that,' says my memory. 'I cannot have done that' - says my pride, and remains adamant. At last - memory yields."

Go West, Young Men

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

And so I had this other idea. (Yeah, I know.) But the Coast to Coast walk had been, everyone involved had to admit, except maybe you, pretty completely spectacular. And the UK has got something like a dozen national trails. And the first one hadn't killed anyone. Quite.

Somebody's Conception of Hell

Sat, 09 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Right, okay, so what was that bit about, ah, let me go back and quote myself, that stuff about 'relaxed attitude', and 'short days' and 'lie on beaches' and 'stroll on clifftops'? Bwahahaha!

The Rendezvous

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

So, previously on our show, we cut the day's dispatch short, leaving our heroes palsiedly perambulating into the port town of Mawgan Porth - one hobbling and whimpering, and the other cackling and rubbing his hands together: "Yessss... yesss... we will walk futher, we will walk more... we will walk up, and down... there will never be an end to the walking... Mua-HaHaHaHaHa!!!"

Fording The Gannel

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Morning in Newquay, early and misty and still, and I was up and out for a pre-departure run by Somerfields for provisions - and also the Kodak shop to burn CDs, and reclaim all of my camera memory. This was the self-same Kodak shop, actually, manned by the encephalitic clowns who lost all my Day 2 pictures. Heigh ho.

Still Walking

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Morning breaks on the overpriced Perranporth hotel grey and misty with a moving sky. Tim and I score breakfast in the dining room (unlimited muesli! muahahaha!), then spend a few minutes chatting with "sweet old Doreen". She'd seen a lot of coast walkers come through.

To The Lighthouse

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Another absolutely enormous breakfast - a pleasingly recurring theme - and then we walked out into a cool, slightly overcast, and windy day. Lovely walking weather.

"St. Ives! - And Step On It!"

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

And so C&M met us in the morning back at the pub, after Tim and I had broken camp. Here they are looking all cutesy-skippy- happy, and all bad, respectively. I think I can explain the skippy-happiness.

Zig Zagging to Zennor

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Awoke ten minutes before my alarm was to go off (I know - but we were meeting for breakfast, and generally wanted to get an early start) to an absolutely glorious morning. While languorously performing my toilette in the sparklingly lit mirrors of the immaculate bathroom, the radio reports: "Twenty-two degrees today, clear skies, cool breezes - and plenty of sunshine!"

Goodbye and Hello

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Well, you guessed it - it was another totally glorious morning on the hill overlooking the bay, and we were up at half-7. I showered while Tim packed up (sniff); and we both headed down the hill for a farewell breakfast at the cafe.

(Not Quite) There and Back Again (Again)

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Awoke at, yes, you guessed it, same time as always, 7:30. But alone this time? you ask? Au contraire, mein freund. For, with Tim's departure, the critters have come out in their legions to cheer my morning.

The Trip [Would Have] Sucked Without You

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Awoke at, yes, half-seven again - what is it with this St. Ives campsite reveille? - to, yes, another glorious morning. I packed up much of my stuff, tried to shake some of the overnight dew off the tent (in anticipation of packing and carrying it later)

The Michael Show

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Yes, of course, I know, it's always the Michael Show here. However, it is about to become All Michael, All the Time / Too Much Michael Is Never Enough / I Want My M(ichael)TV Channel. Walking alone, the dispatches inevitably become more or less the Story of Me.

2006.09.20

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

I was up early again (camping!), right on time for a truly fab cooked breakfast - and cooked by a really lovely old whiskered gentleman. I felt like calling him "Cookie" and asking if I could carry the tin mugs over from the wagon for him

2006.09.21

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Awoke rather dreamy and refreshed - especially after an extra, post-rollover hour of sleep. The new sun and fresh breeze were both blasting in the window - ah, another glorious day, imagine that. Perhaps I am God. How would you know for sure, really?

Six Minutes in the Mousehole

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Upon checkout, the nice innkeeper man, Terry (*) , gave me a replacement pen, gratis. Hard to argue with that. The least I can offer in return is some free, and much-deserved, publicity: http://porthcurnohotel.co.uk/.

2006.09.23, Pt I : Penzance, I Hardly Knew Thee (Nor Much Cared To)

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

So - Ali was right. The bus driver really doesn't have anything better to do than tell you where to get off the damned bus.

2006.09.24

Sun, 24 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

It had stormed overnight. I got up, crawled out of the tent, and moved the now-even-more-soaked travel towel from the fence (where it had been "drying") to an actual clothes dryer in the main building. I then broke camp, stowed my pack, and hoofed it into town

God's Own Privy

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

In nomadic camp life, you really do just get into the rhythm of waking at dawn. Badger! badger! badger! What I took to be a badger ran by, along the opposite edge of the field, with a crust of something in her jaws.

2006.09.26

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Morning now, and I am standing on the stairs to the slide of the camp site playground, soaking up the first sunlight. I am not sitting here, nor anywhere, due to the dew, which is just a monster. The surface of the world couldn't be any more drenched if a thunderstorm had stopped five seconds ago.

Welcome to the Suck

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Lying in my tent in the Lizard, near to the pigs, I dreamt long, vivid, grand, yet frustrating dreams. Really long and involved. I wonder how time compression works in dreams. Are we like Data, reviewing video at impossible speeds?

Brief Epilogue

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 05:00:00 +0000

The storm ended by morning; but my train home was from Falmouth, in three days time, and I wasn't planning on taking another step until then. I spent those three days - and three nights - in tiny little Coverack. I came to know it rather well.

The God Delusion

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 05:00:00 +0000

"The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciouslyly malevolent bully." - Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion

The Most Fun I've Had - Ever

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 05:00:00 +0000

My hipster Ben Sherman shirt and extravagantly ripped Versace jeans are soaked through - and by "soaked through" I mean soaked through - with fragrant sweat. The outsides of my little toes are raw and, conceivably, bleeding. I don't know. I'm shaking too much to get my boots off.

Happy Turkey Day

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 06:00:00 +0000

"We cut the throat of a calf and hang it up by the heels to bleed to death so that our veal cutlet may be white; we nail geese to a board and cram them with food because we like the taste of liver disease

The Fuches FUQ

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 06:00:00 +0000

Q: Just how much Graham Greene do you intend to read, anyway? A: Every word he wrote.

Between Heaven and Earth II

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 06:00:00 +0000

THE DEVIL: Well, well, go your way, Senor Don Juan. I prefer to be my own master and not the tool of any blundering universal force. I know that beauty is good to look at; that music is good to hear; that love is good to feel

Holiday Safe Driving Harangue

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 06:00:00 +0000

Yes, it's that time of year again. I'll make it brief: please exercise great care when driving.

Harangue Hits Home

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 06:00:00 +0000

Last Wednesday (Dec 13), I was involved in a very serious car accident. Exactly what you said was most common happened:

Morning on Earth

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 06:00:00 +0000

The following story, possibly apocryphal, was related to us by our friend Charles over dinner at a curry house in Clapham Junction a couple of nights ago.

Mirror on the Soul

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 06:00:00 +0000

"The wing of melancholia flicks at me today, perhaps because I have learnt nothing new here, perhaps because of my bad night, perhaps because of my dreams." - Graham Greene, Congo journal

Pretty Pouty English Boys

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 06:00:00 +0000

"I knew Sebastian by sight long before I met him. That was unavoidable for, from his first week, he was the most conspicuous man of his year by reason of his beauty, which was arresting, and his eccentricities of behaviour, which seemed to know no bounds.

Book Schtuff!!

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 06:00:00 +0000

The Manuscript Now Available in the U.S. on Amazon.com! Yes, that's right - while no one seems to be able to tell the same story twice about about actual release dates in the U.S. or Canada, I simply woke up a few days ago to find that it's already on sale NOW on Earth's largest bookstore.

The Coming Second Holocaust

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 06:00:00 +0000

"Israel will be annihilated." - Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

"Bitch, We'll Eat You"

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 06:00:00 +0000

These are my slippies. I bought them at Wal-Mart. For US$7.50. Verily, America is the land where you can buy anything, anywhere, at any time, for nothing.

New Book / Old Book

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 06:00:00 +0000

Today is the official U.S. publication date of The Manuscript. It's also the day I finally knocked up a web site for Pandora's Sisters. Have a look.

Good Times

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 05:00:00 +0000

Emily Bronte (lived at home her whole life), Virginia Woolf (threw herself in the Thames), Dostoyevski (epileptic), Hemingway (shotgun blast to the head), Salinger (complete withdrawal from public life), John Fowles (self-imposed exile in rural Devon), Pynchon (whereabouts unknown, only a couple of photographs exist), Camus (died in car crash - accidental?), Mark Twain (lifelong depressive), F. Scott Fitzgerald (died of alcoholism)

Food That Does Not Exist

Fri, 04 May 2007 05:00:00 +0000

From David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest - "You burn to have your photograph in a tennis magazine." "I'm afraid so." "Why again exactly, now?"

Shit I See Daily

Sat, 12 May 2007 05:00:00 +0000

"Calm soul of all things! make it mine / To feel, amid the city's jar, / That there abides a peace of thine, / Man did not make, and cannot mar." - Matthew Arnold

We're All Harry Now

Thu, 17 May 2007 05:00:00 +0000

So if you haven't been following along, Prince Harry - third in line to the throne - joined the Army.

Contemplate Something Else Instead

Fri, 18 May 2007 05:00:00 +0000

My purpose is to suggest a cure for the ordinary day-to-day unhappiness from which most people in civilised countries suffer, and which is all the more unbearable because, having no obvious external cause, it appears inescapable.

"Losers."

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 05:00:00 +0000

"As I write these words, and as you read them, people of faith are in their different ways planning your and my destruction, and the destruction of all the hardwon human attainments that I have touched upon. Religion poisons everything." - Christopher Hitchens

More on These Losers

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 05:00:00 +0000

Shortly after posting my recent piece on the spectacularly and amusingly unsuccessful attacks in London and Glasgow, I realised I'd mislabelled the perpetrators in calling them "losers". Much more apt would have been the lovely, amusing, and oh-so-useful British epithet of "muppets". These guys truly are muppets of the first rank, and they're running a Muppet Jihad.

Hitch v. God

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 05:00:00 +0000

One knew, of course, that the whole racket of American evangelism was just that: a heartless con run by the second-string characters from Chaucer's "Pardoner's Tale." (You saps keep the faith. We'll just keep the money.)

Pandora's Diner

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 05:00:00 +0000

"Fuchs seems to operate on the narrative principle of 'when in doubt, put in a firefight.'" - Kirkus Reviews

Climbing the Walls

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 05:00:00 +0000

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be listening to this song over and over for the rest of my life. The rest of my life. In any moments when I can't actually be listening to it, it will be playing in my head. Forever. And ever.

Life's Not Much Fun

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 05:00:00 +0000

Is it?

Or Maybe

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 05:00:00 +0000

I'm just really, really bad at it.

Is It Over Yet?

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 05:00:00 +0000

Saturday

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 05:00:00 +0000

No, I don't mean the Saturday that's Ian McEwan's novel, though it's really rather good and you should probably read that, though not at the expense of reading Atonement, which is just amazingly good.

Three McSweeney's Style "Lists" Which I Kept Contributing to McSweeney's Lists

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 05:00:00 +0000

43 Actual Names Of Royal Navy Battleships That Very Plainly Suggest You Should Not Fuck With The Royal Navy, And 10 That, Kind Of Confusingly, Do Not : Victory, Revenge, Defiance, Warspite, Lion, Two Lions

Why

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 05:00:00 +0000

"He who has a why to live can endure any how." - Nietzsche

Beauty and Wonder

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 05:00:00 +0000

I've come to realise that, aside from all the other things - and there are a lot of other things, most of them more qualifiable and quantifiable - I seem to have lost my senses of beauty and wonder.

A Long, Messy War

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 05:00:00 +0000

The full story of what happened on three of those four terrible flights will never be known. But we do know something about the final moments of United Airlines Flight 93, the decisive event of the day.

In Defense of the War

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 05:00:00 +0000

This is an essay that I've been writing in my head - and reciting bits of out loud at various intervals, in variously heated discussions - for five years. I write and publish it now for the following reasons:

Truth to Powerlessness

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 05:00:00 +0000

"The mission of the United Nations requires liberating people from tyranny and violence. The first article of the Universal Declaration begins, 'All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.'

Some Guys You Should Probably Know

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 06:00:00 +0000

On Memorial Day/Remembrance Day 2007 (okay, slightly after), I'd like to take the liberty of introducing you to a couple of guys I think you should probably know at least a little about.

Free Book

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 06:00:00 +0000

So this is my other book: Don't Shoot Me In The Ass and Other Stories. (You might say it's my third book, but I actually wrote it in between the other two.)

What It Says On The Tin

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 06:00:00 +0000

"Peace for us means the destruction of Israel. We are preparing for an all-out war, a war which will last for generations." - Yasser Arafat (Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, 1994)

Religion of Peace

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 06:00:00 +0000

"And fight in the Way of Allah [1] those who fight you ... And kill them wherever you find them, and turn them out from where they have turned you out."

NaNoWriMo Blues

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 06:00:00 +0000

An amateur novelist doesn't think he's done until his book is under a cover and piled on display tables across the land. Why do these people think this is likely to happen? Moreover, why do they imagine that it will be a rapturous, fulfilling, life-changing event if it does?

Shots Magazine Piece

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 06:00:00 +0000

The following excerpted piece appears in full in Shots, The Crime and Thriller E-Zine. - When I wrote my first novel, I knew I wanted to include an awful lot of gunplay

The Great January of the Soul

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Today it's February, and the sun is shining bright. We made it.

Pretty Much My Take on the Archbishop of Canterbury's Calls For Islamic Law in the United Kingdom, From a Recent Exchange

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, and (thus) head of the Church of England, gave a speech in which he predicted that the adoption of some parts of sharia (Islamic religious law) within the UK were "inevitable"

Eat the Rich

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 06:00:00 +0000

So, in the wake of the Archbishop of Canterbury's call for Islamic Law in Britain, I've been making an ass of myself by debating the issue with a friend, and for some reason not really giving a damn about politeness or civility or humility.

Infidel

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Ayaan Hirsi Ali is the Somali-born feminist, writer, and politician who has been living under 24-hour guard since a promise to kill her was found pinned to the body of Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gough

Holocaust Countdown

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 06:00:00 +0000

The most vile anti-Semitism imaginable, not to mention incitement of terror and incitement and planning of genocide, pour from the leaders of a UN member state, and the world is too polite to take any notice.

Overclocked

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

I've just gotten around to reading Overclocked, Cory Doctorow's latest collection of short fiction. Doctorow, you will recall, is digital rights activist, fellow of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, bane of DRM implementers everywhere, and co-proprietor of the world's most popular blog.

A Thing I'm Looking Forward To

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

You know, we all feel a little down sometimes. Some days are better than others. But, lately, whenever I'm feeling blue, I like to think about a little something I have to look forward to: Dancing on that cocksucker bin Laden's grave.

Letters to the Editor

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Sir, Martin Samuel adduces a variety of compelling reasons why it would be impossible to free-range breed the 1.6 billion chickens consumed in the UK every year (comment, Feb 29). Here's an idea: how about just refraining from tormenting, killing and eating the 1.6 billion sensitive birds altogether?

Fuches Index For March

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Year Israel Gave Gaza Back To The Palestinians: 2005 ... Number Of Rockets The Gazans Have Launched At Israel Since Then: 4,000 ... Number Of Seconds Residents Of The Israeli Town Of Sderot Have To Seek Shelter After The Sirens Go Off, But Before The Rockets Hit: 16

Fuches Quotes 12

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Since the periodicity of my long-running quotations series has been getting asymptotic with infinity, here are the quotes that have been piling up since the last edition

Five Years On

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 05:00:00 +0000

In part because I've been posting relentlessly gloomy political dispatches - pre-emptive capituation to sharia in Britain, heroic human-rights activist under death sentence, messianic dictator plans to kill all the Jews again - but mainly because it's important, and the mainstream media aren't doing it, here's a brief and digestible rundown of how great things are (finally) going in Iraq recently.

Fitna

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 05:00:00 +0000

I actually have no idea how much coverage in the U.S. has been given to Dutch politician Geert Wilders - and his new short film, Fitna ("Strife" in Arabic). Wilders is a self-proclaimed defender of free speech and harsh critic of Islam, who has sought to restrict immigration into the Netherlands from non-Western countries.

Greater Love

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 05:00:00 +0000

As winter yields to spring and the Earth renews itself and you and I walk peacefully through the lengthening days, others remain toiling in the mountains and deserts of Afghanistan and Iraq. They are American and British (and Australian and Polish) men and women, and they are working and sweating and fighting and dying on my behalf, and on yours - and on behalf of millions of people they'd never before met, but who now have a chance of freedom and self-determination and prosperity and peace, after decades of knowing only tyranny and war.

A Political Age

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Young Americans

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Forty-two year old Pat Dollard is hurtling through the air in the exploding Iraqi night. An IED has just blown up at the back bumper of a Humvee he's riding in - killing the Marine sitting next to him, and sending him shooting 30 feet out of the vehicle, with a broken leg and shrapnel wounds.

Military Motivators

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 05:00:00 +0000

I know I've been a little hot and heavy with the political, and also the pro-military, stuff. I've had one or two unsubscriptions from dispatch lately, presumably as a result. I confess these give me pause (and, okay, sting a little, too) - though of course A) I have no expectation that people will always read my stuff, and B) if I weren't annoying anyone, I probably wouldn't be saying anything very interesting

Moment of Truth

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Michael Yon has spent more time embedded in Iraq than pretty much anyone. He's got a new book coming out detailing what he saw: Moment of Truth in Iraq.

The Second Plane

Mon, 05 May 2008 05:00:00 +0000

I'm a Martin Amis fan. There, I said it. Ordinarily, when people ask me who my favourite contemporary novelists are, I usually slip Amis in - but almost always add that "he's a guilty pleasure" or some such similar wiggly qualification.

Horticulture

Thu, 08 May 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Well, it's that time of year. I'd say the gardeners of Hyde Park must have planted the bulbs, the special bulbs, around March. You know the ones I mean. The ones that sprout blooming flowers on these warm days. Young, shapely, beautiful, nearly completely naked women - wearing only the equivalent of string underpants - lying on their stomachs, all over the grass fields of the park.

Weekend Sublime

Sun, 11 May 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Saturday picnic in Kensington Gardens, beer and olives and blackberries, sun and breeze, perfect day, video goofiness.

Is That All You Got?

Mon, 12 May 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Regular Dispatch readers may recall previously reading about me getting handed my ass. Well, lately I've switched to getting my block knocked off. That is to say, I've taken up "the Noble Art" - of boxing.

Happy Birthday Israel (from Mahmoud)

Wed, 14 May 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Today, May 14th, is Israeli Independence Day. On this day, 60 years ago, the founders of Israel proclaimed a national homeland for Jews, a sanctuary from the slaughter in Europe, and an end to two millennia of wandering. So happy birthday, Israel - and here's to you

C'est Tout Bon

Thu, 22 May 2008 05:00:00 +0000

"Bon voyage, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys." - Homer Simpson ... I'm going to hell for opening with that quotation. The French, even (in particular) the Parisians, have hardly ever been anything but nice to me. But, hey - who can resist?

Post-Post-Impressionism

Fri, 23 May 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Morning took us by the street Anna always stayed on as a girl. And then, naturellement, for coffee, on the Boulevard Saint Germain.

Jews for Jefferson

Sat, 24 May 2008 05:00:00 +0000

So, Danielle, in her inimitable way, suggested "you should take off your sunglasses for at least one damn photo." I've scoured the entire set - and this is it. A tiny, silly photo taken in a mirror at the back of a restaurant. That's the one photo of me from the entire trip not wearing sunglasses. Oops.

Sunday Morning Rain

Sun, 25 May 2008 05:00:00 +0000

I really love the sound of the London rain. On a Sunday morning, warm in bed, after just coming back from a trip, it's pretty much the greatest.

29 Reasons (And Counting) Why The New Indiana Jones Film Sucked Ass

Mon, 26 May 2008 05:00:00 +0000

29) The rehashing of every ridiculous cliche we've all seen at least 100 times. 28) Could anyone in any of these movies ever, just once, find something without the bad guys appearing that second behind them with guns to take it away? Could somebody just one time find something and go home with it?

The End is Nigh

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 05:00:00 +0000

In his most recent disptach, Michael Yon speculates that the war in Iraq may be winding down:

"Hope for the Future"

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Today I was pleased to receive my copy of the UVa Alumni Magazine in the post - and to discover that the current cover story is about UVa alumni (graduates from 1976 - 2005) who have served, or are currently serving, in Iraq.

Chelsea Sunday

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 05:00:00 +0000

RIP, Class Clown

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 05:00:00 +0000

I grew up listening to George Carlin's Class Clown album in secret. (I seem to recall my aunt buying it, not having a good sense of what she was getting into, and then needing to get it out of my grandmother's house - and into my mother's, and mine.)

Paperbacks

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Today is the release date for the paperback of Pandora's Sisters in the UK - available in your high street bookshop (touch wood) or from Amazon.co.uk. Today is also the day I've finished writing my new novel, D-Boys.

The Price of Glory

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 05:00:00 +0000

It will not have passed the notice of regular readers that I have taken up boxing. I've mentioned that the weekday sessions are fairly light-hearted (if not painless); but that the Saturday sparring sessions can be pretty brutal. Here are some results from my latest sparring session.

Non-Stop Fun! (Pt 1!)

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:00:00 +0000

I'm finally going to fulfill my pledge of publishing nothing but Non-Stop Fun! for five days, perhaps in a row.

Non-Stop Fun! (Pt 2!) XKCD

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 05:00:00 +0000

XKCD is the best web comic in the universe - most especially if you're a computer geek, or a math geek, or a romance geek. It's also the most bizarre.

Non-Stop Fun! (Pt 3!)

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 05:00:00 +0000

One of the strange things about living in the UK is that nobody seems to be familiar with The Onion. I'm not sure how anyone gets through the workday without it.

Non-Stop Fun! (Pt 4!)

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Few of you will recall (few indeed probably even noticed at the time) that Suck.com was the web's first daily publication - and, up until its tragic and era-ending demise in 2001, the web's longest-running.

Show Me The Money

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Yesterday I went on a bit of a Suck.com nostalgia trip. Since I'm the very modest and unassuming fellow that I am, I declined to make any mention of the fact that I myself was published in Suck once or twice back in the day.

Non-Stop Fun! (Pt 5!)

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Non-Stop Fun! (Final!)

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 05:00:00 +0000

I got such a good reaction to the GI Joe PSAs - well, if you can consider comments in the form of "about to get fired due to laughing my ass off at work" to be good - that I'm providing two addenda.

"Electrifying"

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 05:00:00 +0000

I've been sort of making a conscious decision not to weigh in too much, or at all really, on the U.S. presidential election. This for a few reasons:

Joe-motional

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Everyone likes Joe Lieberman. Well, some people, like Erin, are disappointed in Joe Lieberman. But everyone likes (and respects) him. He's like your favourite, goofy, Jewish uncle. Uncle Joe.

The West Highland Way

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

So once again I wasn't doing all that much and also good old Master Tim Corrigan was once again both free and keen - so off we went for a third long-distance walk along one of Britain's National Trails.

West Highland Way

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Morning, tea in our room, and Tim happily moblogging from his bed. Me: This feels like redemption. I can't tell you how much time on how many trips I've kept people hanging about while I typed, or edited images, or battled net-cafes.

West Highland Way, Day Two : Milgavnie to Drymen

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Morning, breakfast in an amazing upstairs room with, reassuringly (to, you know, me) several guns on the wall. Rather less reassuringly, there was this countour map of the West Highlands, which our hosts thought they were being helpful in pointing out to us.

West Highland Way, Day Three : Drymen to Rowardennan

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

During our breakfast at the big table in the big kitchen of the bunkhouse-y B&B, we were joined by a man leading a tour... So then it pretty much a matter of getting ourselves down off of Conic Hill, and onto the shores of Loch Lomond - the bonny banks of which we'd be walking along for the next two days.

West Highland Way

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

At 3295 feet, glowering over the eastern shore of Loch Lomond, Ben Lomond is Scotland's southern-most Munro. Today was the day we would pause our northerly march to climb it.

West Highland Way

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

We bid farewell to the Crap YHA, and its lovely lochside backyard, on what was already starting to look like a nice day... I realised something today that was already probably obvious to anyone with a head: photography is all about light.

To Kill An American / West Highland Way, Day 6 : 19.5 Miles from Inverarnan to Bridge of Orchy

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Well, the Large Hadron Collider had gone online. And we were still there. That was a nice start to the day - not having been sucked into a small black hole, nor woken up to find that stranglets had devoured the entire planet, leaving only an inert hyperdense sphere 100 meters across.

West Highland Way

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

We enjoyed a lovely breakfast in the well-appointed, if slim, West Highland Way Sleeper dining room. The morning train went by outside.

West Highland Way

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Awoke from a series of long, vivid, detailed dreams (probably something to do with being in a real bed!); and Tim and I went down to the dining room (a dining room!) for a leisurely continental breakfast (breakfast!).

West Highland Way

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Well, it was the last walking day, and all we had to do was climb out of this strangely industrial Shangri-La. That of course meant Up.

West Highland Way

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Given that my foot/leg hurt like hell overnight, just lying in bed, I figured mountain climbing today might be out. And when Tim threw the curtains back at 7am, outside was: soup.

West Highland Way

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

So when we last left our heroes, I was banged up with a bum leg, nursing pints in the Glen Nevis Inn, counting curios; Tim had hiked off alone to Ft. William, just by way of something to do; and we were both locked in a death struggle with boredom and unaccustomed idleness - and wondering if the jewel in the crown of our hundred-mile Highland hike, Ben Nevis, was going to be forever out of reach.

West Highland Way

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Well, my notes from the last day of the walk are pretty damned scanty. Suffice it to say we got up at a leisurely hour, showered - at the beginning of the day! - packed our bags one final time, and moseyed on down that last stretch of road.

The Light Dims

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 05:00:00 +0000

"He makes the rest of us feel hollow for being so unoriginal in our writing and in our lives."

"The Mind-BlackBerry Problem"

Sat, 01 Nov 2008 05:00:00 +0000

At some point last year, I was struck - like, nearly literally, knocked back a couple of steps - by an article in the Telegraph reporting that talking on the phone while driving has been shown to be more dangerous than drunk driving.

Bob Barr for President

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 06:00:00 +0000

The fact that McCain lost me has now freed me to vote my conscience: to vote Libertarian - the Party of Principle.

There Are No Stockings In Iraq

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Back home it's morning... your wife and kids must be opening their presents without you. As you return to base you're in a bad mood. Surprise, the USO is handing out pre-paid phone cards so you can call home and for FREE!

Cory Doctorow Live

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 06:00:00 +0000

And so Cory Doctorow is doing a signing for the UK launch of his new book Little Brother at Forbidden Planet on Shaftsbury Ave tomorrow, Sat 29 Nov, at 1pm.

Driving While Intalkicated

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Statistics often fail to impact. So here's some multimedia - video, audio, and a few images (even a PDF) - which underscore the risks you impose on yourself, other drivers, and loved ones, by talking on the phone while driving.

There Are No Stockings In Iraq

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 06:00:00 +0000

It's Christmas Day in the desert. You're on patrol. It seems Santa's been kidnapped by the Air Force.

Little Brother

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Little Brother is science fiction author, digital rights activist, and all-around caped-blogging-crusader Cory Doctorow's entry into the literary space of "young adult" (or YA) fiction.

Happy-Making Happy New Years Videos

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 06:00:00 +0000

And so you're probably back at work now and probably really have some time to kill. And if you're like me you've probably got a bit of the New Years post-holiday blues and could use a cheer-me-up. And so here are some videos to watch.

Pandora in Paperback

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 06:00:00 +0000

This month sees the paperback release of Pandora's Sisters in the US - theoretically (though probably not actually, unless you ask them to order it) available in bookshops but definitely from Amazon.com. Makes a dandy Christmas gift.

Snow!

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 06:00:00 +0000

"Britain comes to standstill after 1ft of snow" - The Daily Telegraph

Bale Out

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 06:00:00 +0000

And but there's this whole Christian Bale blowing up on the set of Terminator: Salvation in this stunning, infantile, megalomaniacal, wildly profane, seemingly unending rant/temper tantrum... And now here's the absolute king of mashups: it's called "Bale Out", by a guy called RevoLucian - and it's a gem, and completely danceable.

Five Reasons Why I'm Keeping My American Passport

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 06:00:00 +0000

"Liberty, as a principle, has no application to any state of things anterior to the time when mankind have become capable of being improved by free and equal discussion.

Geert Wilders' BANNED House of Lords Speech

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 06:00:00 +0000

As you will have read (and some of you thoughtfully commented upon), Dutch MP Geert Wilders was refused admission to the United Kingdom yesterday due to his political views... Below is the speech that Mr Wilders would have delivered in the House of Lords, had it not been banned.

Iraq the Model

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 06:00:00 +0000

A belated message of congratulations and admiration and best wishes to the brave and long-suffering Iraqi people

Best of ROFLrazzi

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 05:00:00 +0000

"Doing the important and ignoring the trivial is hard because so much of the world seems to conspire to force crap upon you.

Best of FAILBlog

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 05:00:00 +0000

"The world has agreed to shuffle papers between 9:00AM and 5:00PM, and since you're trapped in the office for that period of servitude, you are compelled to create activities to fill that time.

Daniel Hannan, MEP

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Anyone who knows anything about the European Parliament - and you're really better off not - will know that one of the few non-horrifying things about it is that British guys who are totally opposed to the European project can get elected as Ministers to the European Parliament (MEPs) and then turn up and rubbish the place anytime they are allowed to speak.

DFW Post-Death Watch, Day 200

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 05:00:00 +0000

D.T. Max has a totally stunning piece in The New Yorker: The Unfinished - David Foster Wallace's struggle to surpass Infinite Jest.

Book Clubbing

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

It's occurred to me maybe I should be doing more mini-book reviews. So this is the first instalment of Book Clubbing: either as in my clubbing you over the head with books (ones I've read recently and find really worthy), or as in boogying all night to the swinging sounds of really good books. Take your pick.

Best of T-Shirt Humor

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Special for Easter Sunday: hilariously rude t-shirts. This might seem like kind of a strange thing to anthologize. But, back when I was working for the Civil Service, I did find the T-Shirt Humour site to be one of those things I checked in on when I was bored and depressed and needed a laugh. (And sent around when they were particularly good.) And what are rude t-shirts without a good soundtrack?

Pretty Much The Only Conceivable Way To Make Dealing With The F&^%ing UK Home Office - Upon Which Your Continued Life As You Know It Pretty Much Totally Depends - Remotely Any More F&^%ing Stressful:

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Add in the F&^%ing Royal Mail to the equation - as the only way to get your irreplaceable documents to, or back from, the F&^%ing Home Office.

Young Angry Smart Men of Various Shades

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Here are two extremely energizing political commentators upon whom I've stumbled in my various trawlings of the rightward edges of the InterWebs. Both are young, both are hip, both are right-wing nutjobs, both have beef, and - perhaps most importantly - both are funny as all heck. Seriously.

Washington, We Have A Serious Problem

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

"On the current course, nuclear terrorism is inevitable. Indeed, if the United States and other governments keep doing what they are doing today, a nuclear terrorist attack on America is more likely than not in the decade ahead. With a ten-kiloton nuclear weapon stolen from the former Soviet arsenal and delivered to an American city in a cargo container, Al Qaeda can make 9/11 a footnote."

The Manuscript in Cesky - Ano, Prosim!

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

And but so I got a big, unexpected package from Macmillan in the post today. Imagine my surprise and glee when it was actually the Czech edition of The Manuscript.

Friday Fun Break

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Le 21e Arrondissement Plus Orwell Complet

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Well, it's official: Kensington is now the 21e Arrondissement.

Freedom Has A Ninja

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Daniel Hannan, whom I've extolled previously, has a tongue like a serpent's tooth, an indominitable protectiveness over liberty - and a seriously mean streak towards Gordon Brown.

Olympics Update the Two - Wiggy, Wiggy, Wiggy!!!

Wed, 01 Aug 2012 05:00:00 +0000

As you may not know if you've been crushed under a rock, Bradley Wiggins became last month the first Brit EVER to win the Tour de France. And today he became our most prolific Olympic champion on top of it... And we were there!!!

Not Friday Fun Break

Tue, 05 May 2009 05:00:00 +0000

If you're just dragging yourself back from the May bank holiday - or if, perhaps, you're celebrating Cinco de Mayo - you may need these.

Book Clubbing

Sun, 24 May 2009 05:00:00 +0000

So I just read the new Denis Johnson, which follows up his National Book Award-winning Tree of Smoke. I'm sure a lot of people will remember me going on about Johnson - his novel Already Dead, A California Gothic has long been my second favourite novel of all time.

In Memorium

Mon, 25 May 2009 05:00:00 +0000

"At the core, the American citizen soldiers knew the difference between right and wrong, and they didn't want to live in a world in which wrong prevailed. So they fought, and won, and we all of us, living and yet to be born, must be forever profoundly grateful."

Out Here All Night

Wed, 27 May 2009 05:00:00 +0000

So it seems an awful lot like this song makes me cry. It certainly did on my run today.

I Take It Back

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Book Clubbing

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 05:00:00 +0000

I've read kind of an enormous volume of military memoirs. Ditto military history and nonfiction and tech. Many of these books are nothing short of stunning.

Despatch from a Tube Strike

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Another year in London, another fracking Tube strike.

Tube Strike Day 2: Frack TFL

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 05:00:00 +0000

I told him that really a Tube Strike is pretty much like the weather - no one can do anything about it, so everyone just works around it, and I like running, anyway. Well, by the end of yesterday, I've changed my position. My position now is: Frack TFL.

Oh Well, Whatever, Never Mind

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 05:00:00 +0000

I've never been a die-hard Nirvana fan, nor really much of a grunge-head. But I do remember exactly where I was standing when I first laid ears on "Smells Like Teen Spirit."

Iranian Embassy Protest (tonight)

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 05:00:00 +0000

As you will no doubt have noticed, Iran continues to burn - both with the oppression of the mullahcracy, and also with a tremendous desire for freedom and human rights. There's a semi-organised protest/rally outside the Iranian Embassy every night this week, 6-9pm.

With the People of Iran

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Last night I had the privilege and honour of turning up for the nightly, running protest rally outside the Iranian Embassy, on Prince's Gate, opposite Hyde Park, in London.

The 4th At The Front

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 05:00:00 +0000

A few days from now, Fourth of July celebrations will be held in small towns and big cities all across America. At the same time, halfway around the world, 170,000 brave young men and women will demonstrate their patriotism in another way: by putting their lives at risk to defend everything America stands for.

Book Clubbing

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 05:00:00 +0000

In 1993, thirty-three-year old Tibor Fischer crashed the London literary scene with his debut novel Under the Frog. The title co-opted the traditional Hungarian lament about being "under a frog's arse in the bottom of a coal mine"

2005.07.07, Four Years On

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 05:00:00 +0000

I'd forgotten, until reminded late this morning, that today is 7/7 - the fourth anniversary of the London Tube and bus bombings. So today seems a good, if not entirely un-controversial, day to point up the recent report: Sharia Law or 'One law for all'? from the think-tank Civitas

Friday Fun Break!

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 05:00:00 +0000

"This is really interesting, Brad. You know, Iraqis don't really seem good at fighting, but then they never really completely surrender either."

Some Sanity

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 05:00:00 +0000

The world - or, rather, the U.N. and the "international community" - are now so far through the looking glass that the leader of the Jewish State had last month to stand up in front of the U.N. and wave the Nazi minutes planning the extermination of the Jews, and the plans for the Auschwitz-Berkenau camp, to demonstrate that one third of the Jewish race was actually exterminated.

The Wolf You Feed

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 05:00:00 +0000

"I'm not about to pretend that I'm the leading expert in this field, so I tell him a fable that I remember my dad passing on to me, about the Cherokee Indian teaching his grandchildren.

How This Ends

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 05:00:00 +0000

"How small a fraction of all the measureless infinity of time is allotted to each one of us; an instant, and it vanishes into eternity. How puny, too, is your portion of all the world's substance; how insignificant your share of all the world's soul; on how minute a speck of the whole earth do you creep."

Some Better Animal Pictures, From The Telegraph Animal Pictures of the Week, Part I

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 05:00:00 +0000

"I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Winston Churchill

Some Better Animal Pictures, From The Telegraph Animal Pictures of the Week, Part II

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 05:00:00 +0000

"Adapt yourself to the environment in which your lot has been cast, and show true love to the fellow-mortals with whom destiny has surrounded you." - Marcus Aurelius

Book Clubbing

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 05:00:00 +0000

In 1997 or 1998, I forget which, two very important women in my life (only one of them a sister) independently, and within about a month of each other, decided it was very important that I read Nick Hornby's novel High Fidelity.

Some Better Animal Pictures, From The Telegraph Animal Pictures of the Week, Pt III

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 05:00:00 +0000

"Dogs are important." - Joe Laltrello

Bring a Soldier Home

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 05:00:00 +0000

"You will never know how complete you have made me. You saved me from loneliness and taught me how to think beyond myself. You taught me how to live and to love. You opened my eyes to a world I never dreamed existed." - Army Pfc. Jesse A. Givens, in his last letter home

DFW Post-Death Watch, Week 59

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 05:00:00 +0000

The Howling Fantods - your source for all things David Foster Wallace - reports that Wallace's final novel, The Pale King, may be delayed until autumn 2010.

The Kopp-Etchells Effect

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +0000

Michael Yon is an independent journalist, and former Green Beret, who has spent more time embedded with American and British units in Iraq and Afghanistan than any other human being. His latest dispatch contains some remarkable photography - and a remarkable tribute.

The Sun on My Face

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +0000

So today I ran with the sun on my face. This was my first run in, oh, probably three months. Which is the longest I've gone without running in, oh, probably about 15 years.

On Flyleaf

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +0000

So allow me just a moment here to plug the new album from Flyleaf. These songs are just about too good for words.

Tunes to Move You

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +0000

So today marks the launch of this new thing I've been fiddling with on and off for a couple of months now. It's a music site - tailored totally for runners, cyclists, weightlifters, aerobicizers, gym rats, and all others who rely totally on their workout MP3 playlists to get themselves moving.

The Apocalypse

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 06:00:00 +0000

Fucking great. Now not only are we going to be assailed by sidewalk-hogging, escalator-blocking, over-foot-rolling, twice-the-space-of-normal-people, thumpity-thump-goddamned-thumping, draggy luggage people - but now they're all going to be stopping periodically to get at their coffee in their draggy luggage-mounted *cup holder*.

Good Luck, Bad Luck, Who Knows?

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 06:00:00 +0000

"I keep remembering this strange little story I heard in Sunday school when I was about the size of a fire hydrant.

. . .

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 06:00:00 +0000

"Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."

Arise and Be

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 06:00:00 +0000

"So sleep tonight, we'll sleep dreamlessly this time / When we awake we'll know that everything's alright

Friday Fun Break!

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Happy 2010. Welcome to the new decade (much the same as the old decade).

In Praise Of The President

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 06:00:00 +0000

"I understand why war is not popular, but I also know this: The belief that peace is desirable is rarely enough to achieve it. Evil does exist in the world." - Barack Obama

Helping Out in Haiti

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 06:00:00 +0000

In a certain way, it's a lovely (albeit tragic and bittersweet) thing to be able to sit on your couch, and read about millions of people in serious trouble a half a world away, and without even getting up be able to contribute to their aid.

WTF??!!

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 06:00:00 +0000

George will know, though Noel probably doesn't, that I probably played more Rolling Thunder than God. And I was good. I seem to recall that I got to the point where I could get through all ten screens on a single quarter. However - I never beat the motherfraker.

Book Clubbing

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Regular readers won't soon have forgotten my fawning tribute to military memoirs - and, not at all incidentally, to the service members whose stunning stories inspired the stories.

Some Photos, and a Movie, That I Discover Have Been Lying Around My Camera, Since I Stopped Really Carrying My Camera With Me, Or Doing Anything With It, Which Looks, From the Timestamps, To Have Been Not Quite A Year Ago

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Having Loved Something More Than Yourself

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 06:00:00 +0000

...anomie and solipsism and a peculiarly American loneliness: the prospect of dying without even once having loved something more than yourself."

The Nature of the Fun

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 06:00:00 +0000

A Round Thing In Your Democracy

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 06:00:00 +0000

This, right here, just a few minutes ago, was - not only the only household in the world - but almost certainly the only household in history in which Democracy in America (unabridged) was being read aloud while Sir Mix-A-Lot played in the background.

My Walk Home

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 06:00:00 +0000

"Bliss - a second-by-second joy and gratitude at the gift of being alive, conscious - lies on the other side of crushing, crushing boredom." - David Foster Wallace

Friday Fun Break

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 06:00:00 +0000

So this is what is widely known on the Interwebs as The Amazing Predator Rap. Maybe you've already seen it, or perhaps not, but in any case for once the hype is fully justified.

F/X Porn

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 06:00:00 +0000

I am herewith additionally reprinting David Foster Wallace's essay, "F/X Porn"

Edification Wednesday

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 06:00:00 +0000

So I recently had occasion to re-read Steve Pinker's How the Mind Works. It is, I genuinely believe, the most important book of the 20th century.

Iraqis Defy Blasts in Strong Turnout for Pivotal Election

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:00:00 +0000

"We are Iraqis. We have had it much worse than this."

The United States Marines Are Going to Fix Helmand

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Master Sgt. Julia Watson said the effort has had one major unexpected consequence. "Men have really opened up after they see us helping their wives and sisters," she said.

This is What You Shall Do (Commandments Reimagined)

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 05:00:00 +0000

With a hat tip to Andrew Sullivan, here are Christopher Hitchens's Ten Commandments Reimagined.

Dependence Day

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 05:00:00 +0000

There's a pretty important and powerful line of argument against the nationalisation of health care. I figured right-wing nut-job columnist Mark Steyn would have done the best job articulating this.

Premature Ejaculation (On Chesil Beach)

Thu, 25 Mar 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Ian McEwan's now-no-longer-quite-new book, On Chesil Beach, is, it turns out, is an entire short novel, in the classic English pastoral literary mode, about a wedding night premature ejaculation.

Help For Heroes

Fri, 26 Mar 2010 05:00:00 +0000

So I was walking to work across Westminster Bridge this morning, when I slowly overtook three blokes in camouflage shorts and carrying little donation kitties and one of whom had a backpack with a Union flag on a little pole flying out the back.

Good Friday Fun Break! - Cutesy Animal Videos

Fri, 02 Apr 2010 05:00:00 +0000

So what better cutesty animal video to kick off Good Friday with than Christian the Lion! (No, he didn't get the name from eating Christians.)

Random Lovely Photo From Iraq, and Random Enormously Insightful Quote from de Tocqueville, for Easter Sunday

Sun, 04 Apr 2010 05:00:00 +0000

"I happen to like Iraqis. They're different from us, but in their own way they're very special. They're worth everything we can do for them."

GIVE THEM NOTHING!!!

Mon, 05 Apr 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Okay, sorry, but I'm pretty convinced this version of the 300 trailer remains just about one of the most completely kick-ass trailers of all time.

Book Clubbing

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Regular readers will recall from the review of Ed Macy's book Apache in this space that Captain Madison, then known to us only as Charlotte, set a probably unbeatable record for most ordnance fired (nearly half a million pounds worth) in the least amount of time (about six minutes).

Acts of God

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 05:00:00 +0000

I was just outside - and I did not see speck one of volcanic ash. Nonetheless, UK airspace is closed.

Not In NYC

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Well, you finally get around to booking a big holiday - and on the exact same day here comes the worst disruption of commercial air travel since WWII.

Edification Wednesday

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Following our theme of reasons for optimism, here's the estimable Robert Wright with 19 outstanding minutes on "non-zero-sumness" - a concept that may explain all of our human accomplishments to date; and which gives us very good reasons to hope that things will continue to get better.

Brown in a Nutshell

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Yesterday our Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, out on the campaign trail, had a very pleasant, smiling chat with a local woman, then jumped in his limo with his wireless mic still attached, and proceeded to completely slag her off.

Black Tidings

Sat, 01 May 2010 05:00:00 +0000

So those of you who have already seen Iron Man 2 will not need me to explain which sequence of Scarlett Johansson's I'm talking about here.

Vier and Sechs in Munchen

Sat, 08 May 2010 05:00:00 +0000

And so Alex rang up and said, Dude - I'm going to be in Munich for a few days if you want to cruise over, and I thought, Hey - Random jaunts to the Continent are precisely what Americans living on this side of the Atlantic are supposed to do

Vier and Sechs in Munchen

Sun, 09 May 2010 05:00:00 +0000

So Tag Zwei opened with the traditional free hotel buffet breakfast.

Vier and Sechs in Munchen

Mon, 10 May 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Sunday morning and Alex came in all geared up for business battle, and the three of us lay around chatting happily (me in a towel), and then we hit the road

Helping Help For Heroes

Wed, 12 May 2010 05:00:00 +0000

So after my various long-distance walks around the UK, undertaken for no better purpose than to amuse myself, I'm now doing my first sponsored walk for charity: the Help for Heroes Hero Walk - Avebury to Stonehenge.

The Revolution in British Politics

Mon, 17 May 2010 05:00:00 +0000

I'm very pleased to say, and feel obliged to say (after my spew of vitriol about Brown), a few quick, heart-felt, gushing things about the new PM, Deputy PM - and 'our Liberal Conservative government' (to borrow Cameron's phrase).

David Foster Wallace

Sun, 30 May 2010 05:00:00 +0000

"The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you." - David Foster Wallace (1962 - 2008)

Israel - Still "The Jew Amongst Nations"

Wed, 02 Jun 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Watching the "international community" rush to pour condemnation upon Israel once again, for having the temerity to defend itself, is deeply depressing.

Sturm & Drang In K&C

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 05:00:00 +0000

We wandered into a warren of barricades and ranks of police officers, some of them visibly equipped for heavy weather. My onboard radar for such things perked up and I declared: "Gotta be the Israeli Embassy.

Video Recap

Sun, 06 Jun 2010 05:00:00 +0000

In case you haven't been keeping up, or if you have, here's a rundown of the video evidence of the Zionist storm troopers' brutal and unprovoked attack on the pro-Palestinian peace activists.

Girls of the IDF

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Just because I can, here are the girls of the Israel Defense Forces. Aren't they just heartbreakingly beautiful?

"The struggle of Israel is the struggle of the world."

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 05:00:00 +0000

In every pro-Palestinian European forum I hear the left yelling with fervor: "We want freedom for the people!" Not true. They are never concerned with freedom for the people of Syria or Yemen or Iran or Sudan, or other such nations. And they are never preoccupied when Hamas destroys freedom for the Palestinians. They are only concerned with using the concept of Palestinian freedom as a weapon against Israel.

The Existential Mood

Tue, 15 Jun 2010 05:00:00 +0000

It occurs to me today that perhaps the proper antidote to the Existenial Outlook is to regard life instead as an opportunity.

Self-Portrait (Void)

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Self-Portrait (The Void), Michael Stephen Fuchs, 2010, Mixed digital media

The Longest Day

Sat, 26 Jun 2010 05:00:00 +0000

I'm sitting in the back of a parked Discover Adventures mini-bus. My head is lolling. My back hurts whichever way I array it; but I haven't the energy to keep wriggling around. I'm covered in salt. Plus dust.

The Longest Day

Sun, 27 Jun 2010 05:00:00 +0000

It's 6AM and I'm woken by my phone alarm - direct from a vivid dream where I'm manning a WWI machine gun emplacement. I don't think that can be a good omen for the day.

Three Wise Quotes

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 05:00:00 +0000

This is the conclusion that turns up again and again... Everything must be its own reward.

The Longest Day

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 05:00:00 +0000

So having topped up water and touched in with the team at the first checkpoint, I've once again taken off at speed to try and catch up the leaders.

The Longest Day

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Finally, Tim and I pick ourselves up, gear up, and head out. Me: Well . . . it's not going to suck itself. Tim: I've been waiting for that. Me: I've been letting the tension build.

The Longest Day

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Right, so at the 17-mile checkpoint, major themes were shade, and foot maintenance. We both topped up with water - going dry out here could be a serious problem

The Longest Day

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

So when we last left our heroes, they were hiding out from the marauding solar death ray beneath the canopy of the 20-mile checkpoint, lapping up Lucozade and choking on trail mix, reaching down deep for the necessary sack to tackle the final 6.2 miles.

2005.07.07

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Today is the fifth anniversary of the 7/7 attacks. As is now customary, here's a brief list of things I did to commemorate it:

More Good Than Anyone Ever

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Alone and Free

Wed, 14 Jul 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Unless he belonged somewhere, unless his life had some meaning and direction, he would feel like a particle of dust and be overcome by his individual insignificance.

The Long Process

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 05:00:00 +0000

When she had last been around this group, they had all been full of optimism and excitement and initiative and self-confidence. Now, they had been out in what we call the real world for three years. And all of that was just gone.

Stuck in My Brain

Fri, 16 Jul 2010 05:00:00 +0000

In what might perhaps be a semi-regular feature, here's a song so great that I think we should all be singing it for 100 years.

The Attenuated Tail

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 05:00:00 +0000

So my agent sent me this article in The Nation:

No, Minister

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 05:00:00 +0000

This morning I sent the following to my MP, the Rt Honourable Malcom Rifkind, MP for Kensington.

Equality

Thu, 05 Aug 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Proud to be an American again today. A federal judge has ruled that the state's ban on same-sex marriage violated the 14th Amendment's rights to equal protection and due process of law.

Sisyphus Ages

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 05:00:00 +0000

It suddenly strikes me that the myth of Sisyphus has such profound resonance - that we have a myth of Sisyphus at all - because life itself is essentially a Sisyphean endeavour.

The Fading of the Hitch

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 05:00:00 +0000

You will have read that the inimitable - I might say, as I have said of Orwell, the indispensible - Christopher Hitchens has been diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus.

The Few

Fri, 20 Aug 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Today marks the 70th anniversary of Churchill's Battle of Britain speech. When all of Europe was engulfed by a horrendous evil, Churchill stood at the head of the British people and swore eternal resistance.

Sources Of The Conflict

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 05:00:00 +0000

"Peace for us means the destruction of Israel. We are preparing for an all-out war, a war which will last for generations." - Yasser Arafat (Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, 1994)

Will in the Holy Land

Sun, 22 Aug 2010 05:00:00 +0000

George Will, whose intellect, erudition, and facility with language I have always admired greatly (while disagreeing with him on a number of issues), has just published four columns in a row on Israel, dispatched from Jerusalem, and appearing in the Washington Post.

Shit That Can Go Horribly Wrong On A Much-Anticipated, Twice-Delayed, Two-Week-Long, Five-City, Trans-Atlantic, 1712-Miles-Of-Driving-Requiring, Circa-5000-Pound-Costing, Epic Trip To And Across The U.S. East Coast

Sat, 28 Aug 2010 05:00:00 +0000

1) You could get separated from your partner at f*&^ing passport control, because one of you holds a U.S. passport and one doesn't, and because there's no queue for "mixed couples".

Stuff That Can Go Right In Manhattan

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 05:00:00 +0000

"The city brings everyone up a notch. Or down ten notches. Or up a hundred notches. It sorts them out.

Shit That Can Go Horribly Wrong On A Much-Anticipated, Twice-Delayed, Two-Week-Long, Five-City, Trans-Atlantic, 1712-Miles-Of-Driving-Requiring, Circa-5000-Pound-Costing, Epic Trip To And Across The U.S. East Coast

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 05:00:00 +0000

11) You could for instance pick up a bad head cold in NYC, probably while shouldering your way through herds of insalubrious New Yorkers, which will later find its full flowering in DC. (Ah-CHOO!! Crap!!)

Lovely Things That Can Happen in DC (and Parts Further South)

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 05:00:00 +0000

"Whether at Naishapur or Babylon, / Whether the Cup with sweet or bitter run, / The Wine of Life keeps oozing drop by drop, / The Leaves of Life keep falling one by one.

Liberalism Is Back

Thu, 16 Sep 2010 05:00:00 +0000

"The only freedom which deserves the name is that of pursuing our own good, in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it." - John Stuart Mill

Nope To The Pope

Fri, 17 Sep 2010 05:00:00 +0000

So I generally take a pretty live-and-let-live attitude toward religious people and clerics. As regards the Pope's current state visit to Britain, my position is probably that he should be allowed to visit Britain like pretty much anyone else

Loping Against the Pope Recap

Sat, 18 Sep 2010 05:00:00 +0000

So, as mentioned, I think we've probably got bigger problems than perverted priests... But damned if I didn't go anyway

A World Without Shia Labeouf

Wed, 29 Sep 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Is there really any need for Shia Labeouf? Would we, perhaps, be better off without Shia Labeouf?

Memories of Me

Fri, 01 Oct 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Okay, this is pretty damned cringe-making, but here are a huge number of photos of me.

Muahahahaha...

Thu, 07 Oct 2010 05:00:00 +0000

The passport has definitely made it feel a lot realer than the (admittedly lovely) citizenship ceremony.

Preparing for Disaster Preparedness

Mon, 18 Oct 2010 05:00:00 +0000

In a couple of months, Ms Havrilesky has her first book coming out - a memoir. This event provides a critical re-balancing of a universe in which I had book deals, but members of the original Suck cadre had not.

Things I've Learned From My Father, So Far

Fri, 22 Oct 2010 05:00:00 +0000

* Work hard. * Appreciate what you've got. * Especially if it's a great family.

Roads and Serfdom

Mon, 25 Oct 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Sometimes it takes a friend to remind you of who you really are.

Total Knob

Wed, 27 Oct 2010 05:00:00 +0000

I happened to catch some bits of the last Prime Minister's Questions. This man is a total knob - a muppet of the first rank. And Mr Cameron gives him a well-deserved, and well-executed, spanking.

Is It My Imagination -

Tue, 09 Nov 2010 06:00:00 +0000

No. Natalie Portman is still an Israeli-American Ivy League graduate who speaks four (and a bit) languages (including Hebrew and Japanese)

Dispatch 2.0!

Sun, 21 Nov 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Today I have completed what probably counts as the biggest one-shot refurb of the blog - and can proudly announce the launch of Dispatch from the Razor's Edge 2.0! That's right, we've integrated tagging, popularity, social media, and search - without question bringing the blog smartly up to 2006 standards.

XMSF

Mon, 22 Nov 2010 06:00:00 +0000

The Battle of Algiers

Tue, 30 Nov 2010 06:00:00 +0000

It's like the Battle of Algiers out there. I counted no fewer than 41 police vans on, or just off of, Parliament Square.

Pandora on Kindle

Fri, 03 Dec 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Pandora's Sisters Kindle edition, Rockn' music from Damone, running like a maniac out in the snow, and fun-making military videos - all in today's entertainment-packed dispatch. (Warning!: music auto-start.)

Christmas Time in London Town

Sat, 04 Dec 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Anna and I made what's sort of turning into maybe our quad-annual sortie out of Kensington & Chelsea � this time to check the Christmas lights, the Christmas window displays, and the general Christmas vibe of central London.

Republican Punks

Fri, 10 Dec 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Apparently your student population isn�t pleased about paying ANYTHING for a higher education...

Trailers Rule

Sun, 12 Dec 2010 06:00:00 +0000

I love trailers � all that emotion compressed and distilled down into a roller coaster two-minutes. A great story well and successfully told, out there in the world now, waiting for you to come into its world.

Let Slip The Water Cannons Of War

Mon, 13 Dec 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Well, it looked like it was happening again. ("It" being student protests-cum-riots.) I passed this one police constable (PC) who looked like he was completely loaded for bear

Book Clubbing

Wed, 15 Dec 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Reviewed: The Singularity Is Near, by Ray Kurzweil; Wired For War, by Peter Singer; CyberWar, by Richard A. Clarke; The War After Armageddon, by Ralph Peters; and How to Survive in a Science Fictional Universe, by Charles Yu

look how cute they are

Thu, 16 Dec 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Most wild animals will only attack you if you directly threaten them or their children. But polar bears will track humans down and take a week to do it.

Friday Fun Break

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 06:00:00 +0000

It's over; it's official. I have identified the coolest thing ever. The floor is closed for nominations. Here it is. Hang on to yourself.

Snow, Yo

Sat, 18 Dec 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Awoke Saturday morning to snow chucking it down outside the window... So we did what any self-respecting Brits would do: repaired to our very cosiest local pub and proceeded to get slowly pissed.

Troops Phone Home

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Through the USO's At Home In Our Hearts holiday campaign, supporters like you have the chance to give our troops something really special: the opportunity to make a phone call home.

Manuscript on Kindle

Wed, 22 Dec 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Well, I've gotten another nice little early xmas present this morning � The Manuscript seems to be available for the Kindle now, completing the matched set.

Fuck BA

Sat, 25 Dec 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Dear BA, I hate you so very, very much. I wish you all enormous ill. IOt is Christmas morning. I have no presents to give. Including no presents for my dying father. You have achieved something remarkable: You have FUCKING RUINED CHRISTMAS.

Some Xmas Shots

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

'I see it only that thyself is here, and art and nature, hope and fate, friends, angels and the supreme being shall not be absent from the chamber where thou sittest.' - Emerson

Suck It, Stieg

Thu, 06 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

More evidence for my solidifying theory that anything you see being read on public transport, more than about once, is rubbish.

Your Handy Guide To The New Iraqi Government

Fri, 07 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

If you haven't already got a program, here's your concise guide to a few of the new Iraqi ministers (not a few of whom have pretty interesting and, in some cases heroic, backgrounds).

Monday Morning Mood Boost

Mon, 10 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Here's a little something to get you through the Great Monday of 2011. Michael Macintyre is our - not to mention Britain's - consensus favourite funnyman. He rocks.

Rich Fuchs

Tue, 11 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

He was the cutest and most generous man I ever knew.

What Will Survive Of Us Is Love

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Love is an abstract noun, something nebulous. And yet love turns out to be the only part of us that is solid, as the whole world turns upside down and the screen goes black. We can't tell if it will survive us. But we can be sure that it's the last thing to go.

How To Not Get Cancer

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Cancer is on the verge of overtaking heart disease as our number one killer. Cancer is also primarily an environmental disease � with 80-95% of cases due to environmental factors which can be controlled.

Friday Fun Break!

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

The Photoshop Rap from CollegeHumor.com is nothing short of sublime. It's so good you can actually pick up useful Photoshop tips from it.

Day of Anger

Wed, 26 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

First-of-their-kind anti-government protests have rocked Egypt. As many at 15,000 people gathered yesterday in al-Tahrir Square in Cairo. Word on the street is that there will be a demo outside the Egyptian Embassy in London (Mayfair), today--from 3pm to 6pm.

Revolution Movement

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

The Egyptian regime has done what police states always do in a crunch - they cracked skulls, rounded people up in unmarked vans, and hauled them off to secret prisons. In a modern totalitarian twist, they've also blocked Twitter.

Embracing The Suck

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

One degree centigrade. Iron grey skies. Freezing, blasting wind across Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens. This was officially one of those "You Don't Have To Enjoy It / You Just Have To Fucking Do It" runs.

Some Things I Think You Should Know

Mon, 31 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

I don't want to see your underpants. I do not want to hear your music. I do not want to listen to one half of your worthless, jabbering mobile phone conversation.

With the Egyptians

Sat, 29 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

I was privileged to be able to turn out on Saturday to stand with the incredibly brave Egyptian people in their struggle for freedom. It was a wonderful, inspiring day.

The Revolution Rolls

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 06:00:00 +0000

We owe it to the brave men and women of Tahrir Square - and to our own history and values - to make one thing very clear: We stand with the peaceful throngs pleading for democracy.

Tyrant Tyrannizes

Thu, 03 Feb 2011 06:00:00 +0000

If you've been ruling a country of 80 million people by fear for 30 years, you can certainly roust up a few hundred, or even a couple of thousand, thugs on a week's notice - to go out and rough up peaceful protestors, to instigate violence, to foment chaos. So that you can cling to power as the saviour from chaos. Bastard.

We Are All Egyptians Now

Fri, 04 Feb 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Okay, I know I'm turning into a broken Fuches on this subject � but as long as Egyptians are still pouring daily into Liberation Square and facing down machete-wielding government thugs, the least I can bloody well do is keep on blogging. Speaking of heroics, Nicholas Kristof of the New York Times has been dispatching daily from Tahrir Square for several days now (despite serious risk of violence or disappearance). This video is awesome, especially if you happen to be of a feminist bent.

Clues You Can Use!

Sun, 06 Feb 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Well, since I realised yesterday's post was nothing more than � 34.5% blatant vegetarian agit-prop; and � 65.5% unbridled and horrifying vanity . . . it's occurred to me to try and atone by posting a couple of personal favourite health and fitness tidbits (which might actually be of use to some of you out there).

Egyptian Awesomeness

Mon, 07 Feb 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Not one to give you a moment's rest from news of the Egyptian Revolution, nor to pass up an opportunity to trumpet the Egyptians' awesomeness, here are a few new awesome things... Here are Egyptian folks self-organising to clean up Tahrir Square (not to mention provide medical care, and feed people). These guys make me proud just to be a human being.

January People

Sat, 08 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Yeah � you know the January people: The young, pumped guys - grunting, picking up way too much weight, then letting it crash to the mat like a construction site disaster... The middle-aged disco queens trotting in and out of 'Legs, Bums, and Tums' in fresh-from-the-packaging lycra...

Some Better Animal Pictures, From The Telegraph Animal Pictures of the Week, Pt IV

Thu, 10 Feb 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Back yet again - not precisely due to popular demand, but let's call it high page impressions - here's more of this sort of thing. Somewhat unlike Failblog, the cutesy animal photos just never get old.

Ma'shallah

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Horreya/Freedom

Sat, 12 Feb 2011 06:00:00 +0000

� Rocking With The Egyptians In London � A Couple of Video Recap Highlights � And "A New Beginning in Egypt"

Egyptian Motivator

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 06:00:00 +0000

FREEDOM - Not to be fucked with

A Divine Afflatus

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Comes The (E-Book) Revolution

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 06:00:00 +0000

I couldn't conceivably be any happier to announce the publication of my new, my favourite, and I'm pretty sure my very most entertaining book: DON'T SHOOT ME IN THE ASS, AND OTHER STORIES.

Friday Fun Break!

Fri, 04 Mar 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Schneier's newsletter, Crypto-gram, recently-ish had a special on the absurdity of security questions that one sets and is asked on the phone to authenticate one's identity. The resulting piss-takes were classic.

THE CONTRACTOR

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 06:00:00 +0000

I'm tickled to announce the stand-alone publication of my short-ish novella (or long-ish short story), THE CONTRACTOR.

That's Life

Fri, 11 Mar 2011 06:00:00 +0000

That's life, that's what all the people say

All The Very Best Of... Hot Chicks With Douchebags

Tue, 15 Mar 2011 05:00:00 +0000

Yes, Dispatch from the Razor's Edge trawls everybody's favourite micro-site, Hot Chicks With Douchebags, so you don't have to.

The Great E-Book Giveaway

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 05:00:00 +0000

I will send a totally free copy of DON'T SHOOT ME IN THE ASS, AND OTHER STORIES to anyone who will afterwards post a review on Amazon � if you like it. If you've already bought it and you're willing to post a review now, I will instead reward you by photoshopping your head.

Why Is The Official Line So Wrong?

Thu, 17 Mar 2011 05:00:00 +0000

This following is excerpted from Roberts' essay "The Value of Self-Experimentation". I think this is a powerful line of explanation about why there are still so many question marks over health, nutrition, etc.

The 4-Hour Body In 4 Minutes

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 05:00:00 +0000

Renaissance marketing guru Tim Ferriss' new book is about hacking the human body. Amidst the wackier bits, I think there are some real gems in here for health, nutrition, and fitness. So, in about four minutes, here's what I got out of this book that I'm actually using ("Fuches Take-Aways").

How To Cure (Probably) Your IBD

Mon, 21 Mar 2011 05:00:00 +0000

Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) is a chronic, debilitating inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract affecting 1.4 million Americans. I believe that many or most of these people are suffering unnecessarily; and that in many cases their conditions can be reversed through diet. Here's how.

(T)Edification Wednesday

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 05:00:00 +0000

This four-minute TED talk is totally lovely (plus funny and wise). Everyone likes firefighters.

We Are All Of Us Brothers

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 05:00:00 +0000

� Female medic awarded Military Cross for bravery � Hitch on the Iraq Effect in the Arab Spring � Inside David Foster Wallace's Private Self-Help Library

IT'S HERE

Fri, 15 Apr 2011 05:00:00 +0000

Friends of the IDF

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 05:00:00 +0000

The IDF is on the very front-lines of the struggle against terrorism, extremism, and indiscriminate violence. They are also the valiant defenders of history's most comprehensively kicked-around, assailed, and dispossessed folks: the Jewish people. Aside from warming your heart, I hope this 3-minute video will increase your appreciation for what these wonderful young people of Israel struggle with everyday and what they contribute to the world.

To Proceed When Things Look Bad

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 05:00:00 +0000

D-BOYS Preview

Wed, 27 Apr 2011 05:00:00 +0000

I'm modestly happy to announce the publication of a special sneak preview of my forthcoming (keep touching wood there) novel, D-BOYS. This one's free as the clouds.

Til Someone Tells You To Sit Down

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 05:00:00 +0000

Hahahahaha.

Mon, 02 May 2011 05:00:00 +0000

My little bin Laden's Dead Boogie.

Up Out The Water...

Fri, 06 May 2011 05:00:00 +0000

This one goes out to the boys in DEVGRU.

The Selected Wisdom of J.A. Konrath

Sun, 08 May 2011 05:00:00 +0000

There's a word for a writer who never gives up... published.

The Corvids Are Laughing At Us

Thu, 19 May 2011 05:00:00 +0000

Stepped out of Westminster Station and came nose-to-nose with this gloriously pretty magpie.

King Leo

Wed, 25 May 2011 05:00:00 +0000

A few photos from Leo Fife's very lovely very first birthday party.

XMSF

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 05:00:00 +0000

When Heroes Go Down

Mon, 08 Aug 2011 05:00:00 +0000

As you will have read, on Saturday America's community of special operations forces (SOF) suffered its worst single-day loss ever. These people are, in a word, the very best of our best, and their loss is a grievous one.

Live Blogging The Riots

Tue, 09 Aug 2011 05:00:00 +0000

Thought it might be fun to live blog tonight's riot. Latest entries first. This page will auto-reload every four minutes.

Riot Wrap-up

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 05:00:00 +0000

Having Written

Tue, 06 Sep 2011 05:00:00 +0000

One or two of you have kindly inquired why the dispatching has all gone silent. After a feverish pace through 2010 and the first not-quite-half of 2011, I've withdrawn from the field to try and get my new book written.

Those Who Paid

Sun, 11 Sep 2011 05:00:00 +0000

As I put this up, it shows only a thousand of the 6,026 American servicemen and women who have been killed in Afghanistan and Iraq. (I'm going to keep adding to it.) There have been no terrorist attacks on the American homeland since 9/11. Fifty million Muslims and others, previously living in two of the most oppressive and brutal regimes on Earth, are now free.

We're Back! (Yay!)

Thu, 29 Sep 2011 05:00:00 +0000

Well, it's done. After eight months of bashing full-time... and two years of doing story and structure work... and coming out of probably six years of reading and research... I've finished the new novel. It's by like a factor of four the most ambitious thing I've ever attempted. But I think I may have just pulled it off.

Don't Ask, Don't Care

Fri, 30 Sep 2011 05:00:00 +0000

Just a belated cheer for the end of the Don't Ask Don't Tell and the ban on gays serving in the U.S. military. Plus congratulations to all our serving and deployed gay soldiers, sailors, airmen, Marines, and Coastguardsmen.

DFW Life & Work Appreciation, Week 159

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 05:00:00 +0000

A major aspect of my putting-life-aside-until-I-get-the-freaking-novel done austerity was: I didn't read The Pale King. A lot of really totally fascinating DFWabilia has appeared on the web in this time - dead, the man just goes from strength to strength - and here it all is now!

The Secret History of the Military Adventure Novelist

Wed, 05 Oct 2011 05:00:00 +0000

It was when I was looking at a PDF which recounts in horrifying detail, with body diagrams and a lot of Chinese, the 108 acu-points/acupunture cavities on the human body that when struck can result in "pain, numbness, unconsciousness, internal organ damage and/or death." And that's when it hit me: if anybody saw my browsing history, they'd probably call MI6 or the FBI on the red phone, and/or run screaming.

The Art & Art of Video Game Trailers

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 05:00:00 +0000

Video games are now fairly widely recognised to be an art form. And, perhaps in the same way that a movie trailer can condense a lot of emotion and adrenaline down into a 90-second speedball, video game trailers seem to have gotten pretty damned good while no one was looking.

Secret History 2, Electric Boogaloo

Thu, 13 Oct 2011 05:00:00 +0000

So I got such a good reaction to my experiment of publishing the actual browsing history of a writer of high-tech, special forces, nuclear terror action thrillers, that I've done it again. Also, here are the very last two short stories that I amused myself by doodling covers for.

Monday Morning Mood Boost

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 05:00:00 +0000

"Routine, repetition, tedium, monotony, ephemeracy, inconsequence, abstraction, disorder, boredom, angst, ennui - these are the true hero's enemies, and make no mistake, they are fearsome indeed. For they are real." - David Foster Wallace, The Pale King

On Celldweller

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 05:00:00 +0000

I think this is one of the most stunning albums of all time - smart, tight, powerful, melodic, literate, lushly layered, a total tour de force, completely seminal in electronic rock. I've never stopped listening to it. Weirdly, it's on sale for $1.99 right now.

Look At This F*&%ing Hipster VERSUS People of Walmart

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 05:00:00 +0000

A 'Best Of' Smack-Down Between Everyone's Two Favourite Micro-Sites

Veterans / Remembrance Day 2011

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Thank you, Grandpa, for taking four years out to save civilization in the 20th century.

Remembrance Sunday 2011

Sun, 13 Nov 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Today is Remembrance Sunday in the UK. The Queen, along with every living former Prime Minister, turn out in Whitehall to lay a wreath at the Cenotaph � the UK's memorial to all of its war dead.

Best [Sic] of People of Walmart

Sun, 04 Dec 2011 06:00:00 +0000

This is a threat kept from the Look At This F*&%ing Hipster VERSUS People of Walmart Best Of Smack-Down, when I ran out of hipsters before people of Walmart. Dispatch from the Razor's Edge: trawling the depths of horrifying sites for the good stuff, so you don't have to! Enjoy! [sic]

FYML

Sat, 10 Dec 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Complete & total asskicking runs on consecutive days this weekend. Six degrees and brilliantly sunny, monstering around the perimeter of Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park in a muscle shirt and gloves, all powered by the sublime new Kidneythieves album. Power to burn--which, alas, hasn't quite been universal this past however long.

The Passing of the Hitch

Fri, 16 Dec 2011 06:00:00 +0000

He was truly one of my intellectual heroes; and one of my fondest ambitions would be to one day wield anything like his level of intellect, erudition, wit, or moral courage. So have a drink tonight to celebrate the remarkable life of a man who truly was as uncompromisingly moral as he was devastatingly, crushingly intelligent.

New Book: D-BOYS

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 06:00:00 +0000

I'm incredibly excited to announce the publication of the first book in my new D-Boys series of high-concept, high-tech special operations military adventure novels.

ARISEN, Book Two

Thu, 27 Sep 2012 05:00:00 +0000

My writing partner Glynn James and I are enormously excited to announce publication of the second book in our ARISEN series of spec-ops zombie-apocalypse dark action thrillers. And to celebrate, we're giving away up to 6.97 billion copies of Book One (Fortress Britain) absolutely free, for the next five days.

How To Not Die In A Car Crash

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Motor vehicle crashes are the number one cause of death for Americans age 1-44. In 2009, 33,963 Americans died in road crashes and 2.3 million were treated in emergency rooms for injuries, many of them disfiguring or disabling. Here's how to survive your drive.

Christmas Bimble

Sun, 18 Dec 2011 06:00:00 +0000

So in a regularly occurring feature, Anna and I intrepidly departed Kensington & Chelsea to soak in the vibe of Christmas-time central London. (Well, okay, Mayfair.)

Alpha Annus Mirabilis

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 06:00:00 +0000

Pleasingly reminiscent of the Notebooks of Lazarus Long.

Friday Fun Break: Shit That's Said

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 06:00:00 +0000

So here's a meme you may have missed. It all started here with Shit Girls Say... and spiralled well out of control from there.

But If He's Been Murdered By Crystal Meth Tweakers...

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 06:00:00 +0000

Watching Hangover Part 2 on a Saturday, staying in drinking Coronas and cooking full English breakfast. Would be really churlish to complain. New song totally worth the price of admission alone.

Snow Persons

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 06:00:00 +0000

This morning, on a single circuit of Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park, I personally counted 144 snow persons.

The Zombie Apocalypse

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 05:00:00 +0000

So my latest fabulous (weapons-themed) Xmas gift from Alex was a day at a shooting range which will rent you various high-powered fully-automatic firearms to play with. I brought my camera. The rockn', Zombie Apocalypse-themed, heavily annotated, music-video bullet festival results are below.

Day of Egregious Indulgence

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 05:00:00 +0000

So this was the Great Friday of 2012. The long years of my three-month contract were finally drawing to a close. And since it was by far the nicest day of the year so far, we all repaired to the best spot in the universe: the garden of The Troubadour in Earl's Court.

Avengers Abridgeable

Tue, 01 May 2012 05:00:00 +0000

Having dashed out, all atremble, to see the Avengers movie, I'm now able to offer a clear judgement and recommendation: You're much better off watching this (two-and-a-half minute) trailer. It had better writers.

TEDification Wednesday

Wed, 23 May 2012 05:00:00 +0000

Welcome back, after a long hiatus, to TEDification Wednesday. Amongst all the other good reasons to listen to TED presenters is that they don't typically get to be TED presenters by being stupid, uninsightful, or unsuccessful.

Hometown Tourists

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 06:00:00 +0000

So of a recent Saturday, Anna and I decided to head into town and act like we just hit London. Herewith, the results.

Decennium Mirabilis

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 05:00:00 +0000

I'm happy and grateful to report that today is the exact 10th anniversary of Dispatch from the Razor's Edge. In these lovely and strange ten years I have published 517 dispatches, 10,955 images, and 372 movies.

To Fulfil Their Dreams

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 05:00:00 +0000

For some reason the 7/7 anniversary always sneaks up on me in a way 9/11 doesn't. Luckily for me, my regular running route takes me directly beside the 7/7 Memorial, tucked in the SE corner of Hyde Park. And there, every year, as they did today, the massed flowers and notes on the hillside overlooking it tell the tale.

London to Mitt: Screw You

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 05:00:00 +0000

So, as you will or will not have read, U.S. Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, just before his big visit to London, executed the blinding diplomatic maneuver of slagging off London's epic seven-year preparations for the 2012 Olympic Games.

LONDON 2012

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 05:00:00 +0000

"As I write these words there are semi-naked women playing beach volleyball in the middle of the Horse Guards Parade immortalised by Canaletto. They are glistening like wet otters and the water is plashing off the brims of the spectators' sou'westers. The whole thing is magnificent and bonkers." - Boris, the Mayor

Olympics Update the One!

Tue, 31 Jul 2012 05:00:00 +0000

So yesterday was the first actual Olympics-day-stroke-workday - and thus the big test if anything/everything would work.

Olympics Update the Three � Mind the Spinning Blades!

Fri, 03 Aug 2012 05:00:00 +0000

USA Knots Up the Medal Table with China! (18 golds each - and 37 total medals to 34, our way!) YEAHHH!!! And Team GB edges out France - and that, really is all we ask, beating the French! - for 4th place!!!

Olympics Update � Six Golds!!! (Plus Photos)

Sat, 04 Aug 2012 05:00:00 +0000

Okay, first things first again: Britain Took Six Golds Today!!! On the water, on the track, and in the velodrome... they're calling it the greatest day in British sporting history.

New Book Series: ARISEN

Mon, 06 Aug 2012 05:00:00 +0000

A world fallen - under a plague of seven billion walking dead. A tiny island nation - the last refuge of the living. One team - of the world�s most elite special operators. The dead, these heroes, humanity�s last hope, all have... ARISEN.

Olympics Update � Triathlon in Hyde Park!!!

Tue, 07 Aug 2012 05:00:00 +0000

Amazing day today watching the Triathlon blast through Hyde Park! Total luck on my part - I was sitting at my machine in the morning, about to go running, when Barney (aka St. Barnabas) rang and asked if I wanted to meet to watch the event.

Sic Transit Gloria Mundi

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 05:00:00 +0000

Hyde Park is all empty and lonely and forlorn. The thundering herds of Olympics visitors have gone. They are tearing down the BT London Live viewing point - only hours after tens of thousands cheered Mo Farah as he blasted into Olympic history.

What's At Stake

Fri, 28 Sep 2012 05:00:00 +0000

I really think everyone ought to watch the recent speeches by President Obama and Prime Minister Netanyahu at the U.N. The vivid moral clarity shown here - about orgiastic religious violence, about a nuclear-armed and messianic terror state in Iran, about a citizenry-slaughtering dictator in Syria - is much needed, and frankly awesome.

The Top Four Wrenching Things I Learned Reading The DFW Bio

Sun, 30 Sep 2012 05:00:00 +0000

So I've just finished Every Love Story Is A Ghost Story: A Life of David Foster Wallace. Here are the top four wrenching things I learned from this engrossing and heartbreaking book.

Yes, You Have A Choice

Mon, 01 Oct 2012 05:00:00 +0000

Spend just a few minutes watching these delightfully entertaining two-minute videos introducing you to your real, thrilling alternative to Dipshit (Romney) and Spendthrift (Obama).

COUNTER-ASSAULT

Sat, 06 Oct 2012 05:00:00 +0000

COUNTER-ASSAULT is the second book in my D-BOYS series of high-concept, high-tech special operations military adventure novels. It is also the biggest, smartest, most ambitious, and most thrilling work I've ever produced. It assaults off the page, and does not relent.

In Defense of Obama on Defense

Mon, 15 Oct 2012 05:00:00 +0000

Here's a bit of contemporary history for you. After the 2008 election, but before the handover of power, Bush invited Obama over to the White House for a one-on-one sit-down meeting, in which he begged the incoming president to preserve just two programs...

Bestsellers!

Thu, 25 Oct 2012 05:00:00 +0000

Delighted and amazed to announce that our new ARISEN books have both pleasingly popped up on Amazon's bestseller lists - and have proceeded to climb them.

Remembrance Day 2012

Sun, 11 Nov 2012 06:00:00 +0000

Remembrance Day, and the run-up to it, is my favourite thing on a long list of reasons I love the UK. That an entire nation pauses to visibly, and palpably, give thanks to the millions who sacrificed, fought, and died to gift us with our lives, freedom, security, and prosperity, and does so every year without fail, is incredibly beautiful to watch - and to have the privilege of being part of.

Selected Tableaux from Anna's Burfday Week

Sun, 25 Nov 2012 06:00:00 +0000

Very many thanks to all who came out. And lots of love to those far away.

Holiday Safe Driving Spiel 2012

Mon, 10 Dec 2012 06:00:00 +0000

This holiday season, in the U.S. alone, 1,161 people will die in motor vehicle crashes, and 124,100 will be injured, many cripplingly and permanently. Please don't be amongst them. Please drive very carefully. For this years's harangue, I'm publishing excerpts from a totally fascinating book I read last year, called Traffic: Why We Drive the Way We Do (and What It Says About Us).

ARISEN : GENESIS

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 06:00:00 +0000

I'm enormously excited to announce publication of the new prequel to ARISEN - our bestselling series of spec-ops zombie-apocalypse dark action thrillers. It rather rocks, if I do say so myself: loads of heartstopping action, moments of genuine terror, lovable heroes, and oceans of existential dread. Just in time for Christmas! And of course nothing says Christmas Time like the end of the world...

The Next Big Thing

Sun, 16 Dec 2012 06:00:00 +0000

I've just been meme-slapped by novelist/psychologist Ian Hocking with a Ten-Questions-About-Your-Book thingy that's going around. So come with me now for a candid, behind-the-scenes, insider tour of the making of ARISEN : GENESIS.

The Next Next Big Thing

Tue, 18 Dec 2012 06:00:00 +0000

Since two days ago I meme-slapped a first-time novelist who (scandal!) doesn't run a blog, I'm pleased to post her responses here. You should check out her new book. Compulsion Reads describe it as a "highly passionate and cerebral character study of a woman on a mission to make the world a better place" which paints characters in "vivid colors and spins truly sharp and erudite dialogue."

The Best Is Yet To Come

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 06:00:00 +0000

In part because I'm struggling to keep my mind wrapped around the Edge books, and in part just to preserve the sense of wonder these engender (and perhaps also as antidote to the logic of human self-destruction in my latest book), I've decided to publish some excerpts. Because it's Christmas, I'm starting with a nice happy one.

Christmas Bimble 2012

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 06:00:00 +0000

Enjoy the Ride

Tue, 25 Dec 2012 06:00:00 +0000

Cinque Giorni a Cinque Terre (1)

Sat, 12 May 2012 05:00:00 +0000

She said she had just gotten back from this cracking place in Italy called Cinque Terre (literally: "Five Lands"). She said it was five little rustic villages all stuck on the face of the mountainous Mediterranean coastline, and you could hike from one to the other, and it was just a totally lovely place.

Burtonalia

Thu, 17 Jan 2013 06:00:00 +0000

Attended a lecture at the Royal Geographical Society - which counted amongst its members Darwin, Shackleton, Livingstone and Stanley both, and Hilary... and that sponsored Captain Sir Richard Francis Burton's expeditions to darkest Africa!

One Life, Baby

Sat, 02 Feb 2013 06:00:00 +0000

I dug this book and its author's voice. It's a blast to read - witty, funny, and breezy, as well as grabby and well-organised with lots of mini-case studies and tips broken out � and profoundly insightful and most especially inspiring.

Cinque Giorni a Cinque Terre (2)

Sun, 13 May 2012 05:00:00 +0000

Awoke to the sound of the surf crashing gently on the cliffs below. Sleeping and waking to this was, frankly, beyond price. We listened to the church bells while we had our coffee on the balcony.

ARISEN, Book Three

Wed, 27 Feb 2013 06:00:00 +0000

Readers are calling the ARISEN series 'a non stop thrill ride' ... 'unputdownable' ... 'the most original and well-written zombie novels I have ever read' ... 'riveting as hell - I cannot recommend this series enough' ... 'the action starts hot and heavy and does NOT let up' ... 'astonishingly well-researched and highly plausible' ... 'non-stop speed rush! All action, all the time - got my heart racing' ... 'A Must Read, this book was a hell of a ride' ... and 'may be the best in its genre.'

Nobody Knows Anything

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 05:00:00 +0000

I've used this famous quote, about how nobody in Hollywood has any idea what is going to work at the box office, many times - most often, to reapply it to the publishing industry. Here's the fuller version from Hollywood screenwriting legend, and novelist, William Goldman.

Brideshead, Visited

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 05:00:00 +0000

Simply, Castle Howard is Brideshead. And Brideshead is, in my considered view, such an inseparable part of the soul of the English character that to visit it is to make a pilgrimage to, perhaps, the very heart of post-war England.

ULTRAnumb

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 05:00:00 +0000

"Ultranumb", is to my mind one of best, most powerful, and most thrilling rock songs ever recorded. It is also - and I say this after a decade-long career of collecting thousands of tracks to power my workouts and runs - THE SINGLE BEST WORKOUT SONG OF ALL TIME.

Cinque Giorni a Cinque Terre (3)

Mon, 14 May 2012 05:00:00 +0000

Our third day in Cinque Terra dawned with us lounging long in bed, gazing out the thrown-open patio doors, listening to the gulls wheeling and calling over the harbour.

TED meets DFW

Sun, 19 May 2013 05:00:00 +0000

And what did I find on TED but that someone had done sort of an animated version of David Foster Wallace's celebrated Kenyon College commencement speech. Someone rescued this amazing, obscure, audio-only recording by a dead guy, and brought it to brilliant life.