From: michael stephen fuchs To: email@example.com Subject: Fuchs Dares Publish Again Date: Fri, July 6, 2007 8:20 am And so just a quick message from our sponsor (me), to the effect that this new book of mine seems to be out today:http://www.pandoras-sisters.com/
In addition to the UK, it's on sale in a variety of countries, amongst them conspicuously not the U.S. I don't expect anyone to order it from overseas (which most of you reading this are). Save your money. The book might be out in the U.S. next year. Or you could skip it entirely and treat yourself to a nice big, leisurely brunch - with buttered toast and blueberry pancakes and fresh orange juice and coffee - say, at one of those counter-style greasy-spoon diners, with the booths with the mini-jukeboxes and big laminated menus, that they're always trying to copy here and never getting quite right. (It's always like a movie set, dressed by someone who got everything he knows about America from exported Happy Days episodes - and there are always these one or two incorrect and telling details that give the whole thing away. Whenever I'm in one of these places, and I spot the fatal flaw in the facade, I always get this nervous feeling like I've found myself in a cleverly-, but not quite cleverly enough-, laid trap. "Don't turn your head," I want to hiss out of the corner of my mouth. "But see the two men in the corner booth?" "The construction workers getting their early breakfast before going on shift?" "Perhaps. But look - there's no mud on their boots. The boots are brand new." "My God, you're right." "And see those bulges under their coveralls?" "Michael, I'm afraid." "It's going to be okay. Nonchalantly pass me that pot of scalding hot coffee - and be ready to run when I do.") Or you could, you know, buy two Graham Greene novels in trade paperback - say, 'The Power and the Glory' and 'The End of the Affair' - for the same price. Or go see the new Die Hard film, with a friend. Michael From: michael stephen fuchs To: firstname.lastname@example.org Subject: Solicitation Emendation Date: Fri, July 13, 2007 8:08 am Sorry to intrude on your Friday morning, but it has been brought to my attention, by persons not my publisher, who never tell me anything, never anything at all, though somewhat to their defense they frequently don't know anything at all, though these are often just the sorts of things they should know, really should be expected to know, in any publishing outfit run along proper lines, that Pandora's Sisters IS in fact available in the U.S. from amazon.com:http://www.amazon.com/dp/0230018289
They indicate a 4-6 week delivery time; but you seem to pay domestic shipping charges, so it's awfully cheaper. Also it's also 34% off, just like on amazon.co.uk. But here are a few other Graham Greene titles you might really consider instead: The Honorary Consul The Lawless Roads (travel writing - but reads better, with stronger themes and drama and narrative arc, than the last 35 novels you've read) The Human Factor Travels With My Aunt Or you might check out the new collection of stories from that absurdly, distressingly, hugely unfairly talented Miranda July, who really brasses me off that she's so annoyingly talented what with her Camera d'or from Cannes for her personally written-directed-and-starred-in film and her globally-toured performance art pieces and her two albums and now her smashingly-well-received debut story collection, with what I have to say is just about the coolest and most winning promotional web site I've seen in about ten years: http://noonebelongsheremorethanyou.com/ Miranda July, I hate you.