Dispatch from the Razor's Edge, the Blog of Michael Stephen Fuchs
2008.08.01 : Non-Stop Fun! (Pt 1!)
GI Joooooeeeeee . . . !
"To call this stuff sophomoric would be an insult to undergraduates."
- George Will

And so a few months ago, when I was dishing out a flurry of political and military dispatches, many of them controversial, if not downright offensive to some of you (many of whom, alas, no longer subscribe to this blog), I promised I would take a break and publish only fun things for awhile. Well, I lied, and I didn't, and instead I carried on with the political screeds. Well, now that the war is won, and al Qaeda has fled in defeat and disgrace, and the long-suffering Iraqi people are finally on the road to building the first pluralistic, consensual, decent, prosperous, free society in the Arab Middle East (not to gloat or anything, or to mock the naysayers), I'm finally going to fulfill my pledge of publishing nothing but Non-Stop Fun! for five days, perhaps in a row.

Those of you who, like me, grew up in the eighties, may recall the GI Joe PSAs. Basically, between episodes of the GI Joe cartoon, they would do little vignettes of the GI Joe characters – delivering life lessons and important safety information to kids like us. Well, a few years ago, a guy called Fensler – whom I feel certain grew up in the eighties – got hold of all those PSAs, and took it upon himself to redub (and occasionally re-edit) these things. The result is frequently the funniest, and almost always the strangest, thing in the universe. (Note that Hasbro, protector of the GI Joe brand, served a cease and desist order, resulting in Fensler taking down the films. Happily, like everything else, they are still available out there, in this case on youtube.) Here are several of my very favourites, all in one place for your delectation.

"Mimimimimi mimimimi."

"Give him the stick! Don't give him the stick!"

"Does your mother still hang out at dock-side bars?"

"Porkchop sandwiches!"

"Body massage!"

"Oh, I just want to eat you up."

"Mrrmmm, mrrmmm, mrrmmm!!"


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close photo of Michael Stephen Fuchs

Fuchs is the author of the novels The Manuscript and Pandora's Sisters, both published worldwide by Macmillan in hardback, paperback and all e-book formats (and in translation); the D-Boys series of high-tech, high-concept, spec-ops military adventure novels – D-Boys, Counter-Assault, and Close Quarters Battle (coming in 2016); and is co-author, with Glynn James, of the bestselling Arisen series of special-operations military ZA novels. The second nicest thing anyone has ever said about his work was: "Fuchs seems to operate on the narrative principle of 'when in doubt put in a firefight'." (Kirkus Reviews, more here.)

Fuchs was born in New York; schooled in Virginia (UVa); and later emigrated to the San Francisco Bay Area, where he lived through the dot-com boom. Subsequently he decamped for an extended period of tramping before finally rocking up in London, where he now makes his home. He does a lot of travel blogging, most recently of some very  long  walks around the British Isles. He's been writing and developing for the web since 1994 and shows no particularly hopeful signs of stopping.

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ARISEN : Raiders, Volume 5 - The Last Raid by Michael Stephen Fuchs
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