If you do anything with security, you'll know the venerable Bruce Schneier. (I still vividly recall starting work at SecureWare – birthplace of the world's first Internet bank – and seeing his seminal Applied Cryptography on every fourth desk, including on Fifers', who'd started the same week as me!)
Anyway, if you can't laugh about computer and internet security, what, really, can you laugh about? (Except of course the Holocaust. There's always Holocaust humour.) Schneir's newsletter, Crypto-gram, recently-ish had a special on the absurdity of "security questions" that one sets and is asked on the phone to authenticate one's identity. The resulting piss-takes were classic: Here's the full list if you're bored at work. Here are my personal faves:
A: No, I am a Russian identity thief.
Q: Need any weed? Grass? Kind bud? Shrooms?
A: No thanks hippie, I'd just like to do some banking.
Q: What the hell is your fucking problem, sir?
A: This is completely inappropriate and I'd like to speak to your supervisor.
Q: Hash, hash baby?
A: 3672f2ff25544b4b6a422bd4d332d3ce
Q: Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis?
A: Not right now.
Q: Do you expect me to talk?
A: No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!
A: What is best in life?
Q: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
Q: Oh My God, Fire, Fire, everyone get out now!
A: The roof the roof the roof is on fire
Q: I found a reason to show, a side of me i didn't know, a reason for all that i do
A: and the reason is you
Q: What is your security phrase?
A: I haven't got one
Q: what is your customer number?'); drop table customers; –
A: Error, table customer not found.
Q: This security system really does suck.
A: Yes, yes it does.
Q: Where did you come up with this stupid question?
A: I found it on Bruce Schneier's security blog.
Who says veg types are humourless scolds? (Okay, my girlfriend, for starters.) But we begin giving the lie to that calumny, here, inevitably, with "Veggie Love" – PETA's famed banned Super Bowl ad.
I do like broccoli. And everyone likes Klan humour:
This last one amuses me much more than I can say. Here's our celebrity vegetarian testimonial from – wait for it – Masta Killa. Oh, the beautiful irony.
Okay, this bonus video isn't funny. (Unless you just think Casey Affleck is inherently hilarious, which no doubt some do.) But it does get economically right to the point, in 30 seconds.
