Why yes, I do have ironic pubic hair.


How cute and cuddly are those stuffed…….OH MY GOD!


Has the rohypnol kicked in yet?


Breeze? What breeze? I don't feel a breeze!


With this application, I pay pitchfork.com to buy the music they say I should listen to, and it all goes directly onto my iphone. It's great. I can't tell you how much more time I now have to tye-dye my bootlaces.


Is it even legal to look this good?


The reason I love New York is because it's the only place where a white person like me can dress this way and not get his ass beat.


It's like those shorts are managing to cover nothing and everything at the same time.


Look at this f*&%ing love connection.


Wouldn't you like to know what I plan on doing with this beer and olive oil?


Don't worry. She knows I'm rich.


Anyone know what aisle the freedom fries are in?


So, I'm wearing my 1985 New England Patriots t-shirt. And here is my Ralph Nader tattoo. Basically, my body is a shrine to epic losers.


I am speechless.


We're going to get so much p*&^% tonight, you guys!


What type of incident has to go down for you to get motivated enough to go out and get a custom shirt made with I Hate Queers written on it?


Get it? I have six pack abs…Cheap, trendy, gross tasting six pack abs.


Well, the important thing is that while this person is donating orgasms or taking d*ck breaks they are also looking out for the safety of those on motorcycles.


Does anyone want to ride on my giant gross vagina? No? Well then, what about this bike I made?


Someone call the dog police.


Someone call the cat police.


Am I the only one waiting for Joe Pesci to start going at this thing in the trunk with a kitchen knife?


Look at this potential eightsome.


I'm sure Chevrolet is pumped for the free marketing you're giving them. I'm thinking about buying one right now just because your truck spells quality.


Throw me the rock and watch me steampunk these fools.


If you think big enough, and you work hard enough maybe you can get yourself a mobile home! But don't get too cocky, you ain't gettin you no double-wide! So cool it there mr. big time dreamer.


The weirdest thing is I found this shirt at a thrift store.


Hell no we ain't got no gays down here in Texas!…..Whats that? Oh, yeah, I made this vest myself. Looks good don't it?


Look at this f*&%ing politics connection.


Is it just me, or do mullets look 10x better with camo? These two are like the Mario and Luigi of Walmart.


Someone call child services.


Technically those suspenders are working. You don't normally see them used with jean shorts. Of course I usually don't see a belly apron just hanging out to say hi either.


Look at this f*&%ing Look at This F*&%ing Hipster party…


And this one…


And this one.


I will bet any money the fat kid gets more cake than Casanova here gets pussy.


These waffles better be organic.


Dude's got a raccoon on his head. Let me repeat that…..DUDE'S GOT A RACCOON….ON HIS HEAD. Somebody tell Davey Crockett here he is supposed to skin it first, then put him in a Lysol bath.


I'm gonna CGI a bigger douche into this photo later in post.


Respect & Class Thanks For Showing Us That You're An Ass………on a side note, why is Ain't highlighted?


Merry Hipsmas.


Mullet? Check. Stupid drinking t-shirt? Check. Proud of it? Check. Armed? Hell Yeah!


Look at this f*&%ing love connection.


If the entire word Bootylicious can easily be read across your ass, believe it or not, it's probably not actually bootylicious.


I can take off my shoes if I want to. I'm sheriff of this coffee shop on foursquare.


Hey, thanks for not even trying.

And, probably inevitably…

We're starting a new blog called 'Look at these f*&%ing hipsters of Walmart.'