So here's a meme you may have missed. (If, for instance, you were buried under a novel for a year. Or more.) Hat tip: SNaFu.
It all started here…
…and spiralled well out of control. Here are are my very special personal favourite picks. One note: you'll figure this out on your own but half the fun is that the sayers of the eponymous shit are played by the people upon whom they inflict it, e.g. the white girl is portrayed (rather stunningly) by the black girl, the girl by the gay man, etc. Good po-mo constructed-identity fun.
If you're still trying to get through Friday at work, find your own favourites here.
Oh my personal entrée to this was via "Shit New Yorkers Say". Hat tip to TinyE; this also happens to feature my awesome cousin Cara.

Cheers, mate (getting an Evening Standard)
Sorry, mate (bumping into someone on platform)
Sorry, mate ()
Cheers, mate
My round (at pub)
My round
Oh, *no*, not my round
My round
I'll help carry
What's yours?
What's yours, then?
Same again?
Pint of bitter.
Pint of lager.
Large cab.
G&T.
Bloody tourists x3
Move!
Keep moving
Move, for fuck's sake (at turnstile)
Work! (nonworking Oyster card at turnstile)
Damn chuggers!
What do you mean, you're not going south of the river at this hour? (outside cab)
Euston station?
Victoria?
Wandsworth?
Hackney? Not likely.
I don't really leave Clapham at the weekend.
*Canary Wharf*?
Who the fuck goes to Madame Tussauds?
" the Tower of London?
" Buckingham Palace
Did you see Made in Chelsea
Caggie is SO hot
Bollocks
That's bollocks
You're talking shite
Balls
I read it in Timeout
It was reviewed in the Spectator
I *love* the National Gallery
" Tate Modern
" V&A
I love the South Bank
I hate the fucking South Bank (crowds)
This is such a lovely pub
This is a shit pub
Did you hear what Boris said?
Did you read what Cameron said?
Did you see what Kate was wearing?
Where's the bloody train?
Bloody circle line.
Bloody Southwest Trains
Goddamned fucking Northern line (trying to squeeze onto sardine train)
Ooh, look, Jude Law…
Ooh, Hugh Grant…
Ooh, it's Kate Moss
Eh, who cares…
What a wanker
Wanker
He's a tosser
Total tosser
Oi, fat wanker
Muppet
Plonker
Wanker