
A dog plays surrogate mother to kittens in Beijing, China ["You're damn skippy, they're important! We'd be screwed!" - kittens]

Yellow-fronted parrot, Coco, right, feeds blue-fronted parrot Paula in Tutzing, Germany

A dachshund Bessi lays in a basket with a five-day-old baby tiger in Stroehen, Germany. Another dachshund, named Monster, who initially adopted the baby tiger cast out by its mother, died in a car accident on May. Now, one-year-old Bessi has taken over

Goat Major L/Cpl Ryan Arthur of the 1st Battalion, The Royal Welsh, prepares the regiment's goat William Windsor for his retirement parade [That's what this place needs a Goat Major. - Ed]

A mockingbird attempts to drive University of Florida student Devon Duffy away from its nest. Research shows that the birds can distinguish and remember human faces ["I hate that bitch." - Mockingbird]

Mother Tara cleans the baby tapir

Three new born brown bears enjoy an outing in the sunshine in the Attica Zoological Park, on the outskirts of Athens, Greece

Baby Cotton-Top Tamarin monkeys at the National Zoo and Aquarium in Canberra, Australia

An orphaned baby gorilla recovers after it was saved from an animal trafficker who took it on a plane hidden in a bag, in Goma, eastern Congo ["Don't like the planes."]

A seal sucks a dummy it found in its pool in the zoological garden in Jihlava, Czech Republic

Tinkabelle the sheep stands with her two dog friends. Tinkabelle apparently believes she is a dog after being lovingly nurtured by a pet labrador

Jonathan the 176-year-old tortoise, on the British colony of St Helena, who is the oldest living inhabitant of the island, but is also claimed to be the oldest animal in the world

A hen pecks an eagle. Chinese farmers are trapping eagles and other birds of prey and throwing them trussed up into chicken pens to make them so scared of poultry that they never return ["Who's laughing now, mother&^%$#$?"]

Los Angeles Zoo resident, Eloise the orangutan's latest painting sold for £450 ["From my Blue Period…"]

A lion cub warms himself with an electric heater at the Everland Zoo in Yongin, South Korea ["Schweet!"]

A zoo keeper at Heythrop Zoological Park has started using a 'Gloria the Hippo' hand puppet which he bought with a bottle of Persil to feed a pygmy hippo who had stopped eating

Keena, a dog trained to wear a hat, facemask, and sit in a camouflaged bag, is seen while hunting with her owner Jon Freis in Bonduel, Wisconsin ["You can't fight what you can't see."]

Bornean orangutan, Ah Meng, clings to her mother, Anita, at the Singapore Zoo

Two gorillas named Ambam and Boumi clash at Howletts Wild Animal Park near Canterbury, in a photo taken by amateur photographer Nicholas Godsell ["No, f^%$ YOU!!!"]

Meg, the black Labrador, who was born totally deaf has been learning sign language at the Dogs Trust dog's home in Kenilworth, Warwickshire

Dawn the monkey rides on top of Dan the border collie at the Fear No Evil Bull Riding Challenge in Houma, Louisiana [I knew it was possible. - Ed]

A crafty sea lion was caught on camera trying to hijack a police boat in Newport Harbour, California. Using his flippers to play with the throttle, the animal was able to take control of the boat, steer it and even sound a siren

Saia gave birth to two leopard cubs on, May 31, 2009, weighing 500 grams (about a pound) each ["Maaammm . . . cut it oouuttt!"]

A rare baby tapir stays close to its mother in front of the public. The 12kg youngster, who has not been named yet, was born at Marwell Wildlife park, Hampshire.

A South American sea lion cub lies in its enclosure at the Schjoenbrunn zoo in Vienna…

…it is only four-days-old

Since meeting a week ago, five week-old Anastasia, a Siberian eagle owl crossed with a Turkmanian eagle owl, and four week-old fluffy white barn owl, Pudge, have become inseparable at Silverwings Falconry at Haytor, Devon

A mother cat is raising and feeding an adopted orphaned puppy whose mother died giving birth, in east China…

…The cat cares for the puppy and breastfeeds it along with her own kittens

Tatenda the rhino and Poggles the warthog became inseparable at Imire Safari Ranch in Wedza, Zimbabwe, after the pair were orphaned at the same time when their parents were illegally slaughtered by poachers ["Just you and me, man." / "Us against the world."]

A seal has a lucky escape as a killer whale known as Mel lunges for it on a beach in Patagonia.

A toad eats venomous snake - believed to be a banded krait - which had tried to attack it at Qingcheng Mountain park in Sichuan, China ["Ha ha ha ha! Screw you, snake!" "Dammit."]

A chimpanzee sits on a swing at Alipur zoo in Calcutta, India ["It won't be a stylish marriage / I can't afford a carriage / But you'll look sweet upon the seat / Of a bicycle made for two"]

Fourteen-year-old male orangutan Wandoo sits on a pole in a wildlife park in Nyiregyhaza, Hungary. Keepers call him "The Belligerent Sailor" as he habitually keeps a cigar-like piece of wood in his mouth and climbs up a pole, as if it were a mast ["Aye. Avast."]

It's Mother's Day every day for Elvis the seven-year-old chimpanzee at ZSL Whipsnade Zoo, who still enjoys being the "baby" when mum Bonnie is around

Pagi, a female Bornean sun bear cub whose name means morning in a Malayan dialect, reassures her brother, Palu, who is named after a valley in Borneo, as they make their public debut at the San Diego Zoo [slurp / "DAMMIT, Pagi. Gross."]

Lemurs at Edinburgh Zoo are presented with a birthday cake to mark the 100th anniversary of the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland, the charity which owns the zoo ["Dammit, Jim - pass the cake DOWN"]

The polar bear twins that were born in December 2008 appear to the public for the first time at the Ouwehands Animal Park in Rhenen, the Netherlands ["Maaahmm!!!"]

An aquarist at the National Marine Aquarium, Plymouth, offers a toy to a common octopus. The NMA's various species of octopus are regularly given "play sessions" using interactive toys to stimulate their natural curiosity ["Please just don't make me solve the Rubik's Cube again."]

A pelican is cleaned of oil deposits by members of the Environmental Protection Agency at a temporary cleaning facility following the 'Pacific Adventurer' oil spill disaster off Moreton Island ["So this is all free, right?"]

Whipsnade Zoo's otters celebrate Halloween with a feast of their favourite snack tucked inside a pumpkin

A chimpanzee goes through a Halloween-theme bag of treats at the San Francisco Zoo ["Dammit. No Snickers!"]

A dog named Powder prepares to participate in the annual Halloween dog parade in Belle Meade, Miami, Florida [Why does this look a costume Joe and Laura would subject one of their dogs to? - Ed]

A squirrel reaches for a peanut from the hand of a woman in a park on an autumn day in the Belarusian capital of Minsk… ["Okay. Um. This is awkward now . . .]

…while this terrified squirrel runs for its life as a hawk bares its talons and prepares to attack. [". . . but of course life could be a hell of a lot worse."]

This frisky moose in Hampton, New Hampshire, USA, decides to get friendly with a pickup truck owned by Mike Speck from New York. The moose eventually wandered off, leaving the embarrassed truck owner with a scratched vehicle ["Explain THIS to your insurance agent."]

An Iraqi zoo keeper carries two three-month-old Siberian tiger cubs at central Baghdad's Al-Zawraa zoo ["Maahhmm!!"]

A chimpanzee eats its lunch using a spoon at Villa Lorena animal refugee centre in Cali, Colombia ["Dude, I love take-away Chinese."]

A zookeeper holds an Amy's knob-tailed gecko next to Wilbur the giant-tortoise at Melbourne Zoo ["Dude." / "'Sup."]
These people were always finding water all over their pool deck and furniture, every time they came home, after being away for a few hours. They thought the neighborhood kids were watching for them to leave, and using the pool. However, they could never catch them doing it. So they set up their video cam and watched the pool area. This is what they recorded…….